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We’ve been taking care of my mom who has dementia for over six years now. Within the past year it’s gotten really bad. She can go three days with no sleep calling for help and crying and counting and talking all night and all day long. I feel like our house is a house of horrors, and the saddest thing is she just can’t stop. Has anyone else experienced this,

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That has to be beyond exhausting. I’m sorry it’s reached such a place. Has her doctor tried medication to calm her agitation? It might take several attempts to find what works. Please realize worn out, burned out caregivers aren’t good for anyone, you need your health back and mom needs refreshed caregivers. Consider if it’s time for a new plan with having more help in the home or using managed care. You’ve done your best, it’s okay if it’s time for a new plan. I wish you rest and peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Jacquiesm Nov 2, 2025
Thank you so much for your repsonse. We actually have a caregiver who is here Mon-Friday while we are at work, but as soon as she leaves, all night and all morning and all weekend we are on. We've tried so many different medications for her and nothing seems to help. I feel so bad for her, I can't even imagine what is going on in her head.
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If you are new I would stick around and read on the Forum for a while. As I just wrote someone else, you will see similar situations to your own that will answer the "Has-anyone-else-experienced....." question.

Truly, what anyone else has experienced isn't truly relevant to yours and your sister's situation, which is the typical one of having taken on care that has entered hopeless and endless, and which progresses yearly to requiring more and more of you until it is where it is now.
Where is it now? Easy answer.
Right now the care you are attempting is no long helping your loved one and is no longer sustainable for you two sisters. It is care in which a STAFF and several SHIFTS of 24/7 care is required.

l am so sorry. I know you will have been talking together. There's no easy answer here. The answer requires mourning and recognizing that often the end of life doesn't have any good answers. Of course that can be true of ANY stage of life. The trick is to recognize it.

Do stick around and read together here. I think you will come to a solid guilt-free realization that not everything can be fixed. Some things can only to mourned.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Meds may or may not help, but it really sounds like your mother should be in a memory care facility now. Six years is a long time for you and your sister to have blown up your lives. Put her in memory care now and have not a moment of guilt about it. You both went far and beyond what should be expected of any family member and did this for six years. It's time to take your lives back.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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autumn143 Nov 2, 2025
I’m new here too, and I’ve noticed your replies are always so comforting and supportive. Although not directed at me, this response is what I needed to hear.
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I'm sorry you are all suffering. I'm wondering if she's on any medications for depression, anxiety or agitation? If not, why not? If not, maybe it's time to have this discussion with her primary care physician.

Once you get her agitation under control it may be time for you to consider MC for her. Many here have been in your shoes and have good guidance to give you.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Jacquiesm Nov 2, 2025
Thank you so much. We've tried so many different meds for her, she seems to be immune to anything the doctors try. Poor thing, it breaks my heart. I appreciate your response.
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Yes, lots of people have developed this problem as they experience dementia. There are many just like her in the memory care facility where my husband lives.

She needs medication, and it often takes a lot of adjusting to get the right mix. These symptoms might never stop, but they may get better with meds. Without meds, forget it! In a memory care facility with 24/7 trained professionals, they have a lot of experience and know how to deal with it, plus they aren’t exhausted like home caregivers. It really is like living in a house of horrors, and you deserve relief! There are some things that aren’t best handled at home, and these symptoms are twelve hundred of them.

Good luck with a difficult problem.
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Jacquiesm Nov 2, 2025
Thank you. We have tried many different kinds of meds, a lot of them worked at first, but now it seems she has built up a resistance to them. We are constantly reading and working with the doctors to try new ones. I will try the magnesium like someone else suggested. I appreciate your time and response.
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We found 400 mg of magnesium glycinate given at dinner time or before bed helped Mom sleep through the night.
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Jacquiesm Nov 2, 2025
Thank you! We've tried a lot of different meds on her, now it seems she is immune to them. I will try the magnesium for sure. I appreciate your help.
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Get moms doctor to write her a hospice evaluation. Once she gets on hospice care, then she can be medicated into a much calmer state for HER sake as well as yours.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Going three days without sleep is hard on everyone involved.

The only thing that helped my dad's dementia related insomnia was finding the proper medication so he could sleep. Plus an as needed anti-anxiety.

We learned his condition would not get better and that meds were a necessary part of this stage in his life. He continued to decline, which is sadly what happens with dementia.
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Reply to DaughterofAD3
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Mom needs meds to calm her down . I see you say you’ve tried many meds. Is Mom seeing a neuropsych doctor ?
Please consider placing Mom in memory care . This is no longer sustainable at home .
I’ve worked on memory care units . Certain patients get their days and nights mixed up and we let them . Perhaps your Mom will be like that . Is she partly upset because you are all trying to get her to go to bed ?
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Reply to waytomisery
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As said, there are Meds that may help. There does come a time when they need professional care. If she can't afford Memory Care, then you can apply for Medicaid and have her placed.
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