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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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One method I saw recommended to get people to change their clothes might help here too: have an "oops" moment and spill a glass of something down her front and then help her get into something clean and dry, if it's something really messy she might even need a shower to clean up. Be sure you've got a decoy necklace ready to replace the keys
If you can't get the keys you may need to do something to neutralize the vehicle. Though it does make me nervous that she sleeps with the keys around her neck, that could be a hazard.
I agree with disabling the car. We disconnected the battery of my moms van(left the battery in so it wasn’t obvious to her). She was mad because she knew we had done something. Wouldn’t give up her keys for a long time, but made it to where she couldn’t drive either. She ended up throwing her keys at us one day. It was hard & she was really mad, but she was safe. She kept saying she was going to call someone to fix it, but couldn’t figure out who to call.
If she demands to have someone come out to fix it, call someone, explain the situation, & then they come out to look at it or tow it & they’ll need the keys to work on it. Now you have the keys from the repair guy. If it takes more than that, Either have them tow it some place else or just down the block & give you the keys.
My mom knew we had messed with her van. She was more aware. Depending on the level of decline, less or more theatrics may be needed. Also, the mechanic can just be a friend of yours that she doesn’t recognize.
If the keys have batteries in them, remove and replace with dead ones. Or don't replace at all. Chances are a person with dementia won't remember that the keys have a battery in them and won't understand why car won't start. This worked for me.
In MN, you simply fill out a confidential, one-page form to alert the state of a concern about an individual's driving capabilities. We did this for both of my in-laws, and they received a letter with an appointed time to meet with someone at the DMV. Another family member accompanied them and they both voluntarily surrendered their DLs after some back and forth -- the other option was to take a new driving test. They went through the process of getting state ID cards right then, before leaving the DMV.
Hopefully other states have a similar setup: simple, helpful, and takes most of the responsibility off of the family and places it (appropriately) with the agency responsible for licensing oversight.
I did this in Nebraska for my mom after she had two fender benders in one day. The state DMV sent her a letter requiring new exams. She was able to pass the written exam (on the third try) but not the driving test. She was frustrated, but safe.
2011 in October:I took my mother for her driving examination when she was 91, almost 92, and she failed her exam when she drove her vehicle into a curb at DMV instead of pulling out straight. Her license actually got suspended back in 2008 with a heart condition but still kept driving. In 2012, I took over when I was unemployed and did this for over one year in 2013. I took her car to a mechanic for its inspection and got her $500 estimate to fix a broken steering wheel part. Mom did not pay the expense, so she sold the car and never drove again!!
if your mother will not stop driving, disable the vehicle like so many readers here said.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she demands to have someone come out to fix it, call someone, explain the situation, & then they come out to look at it or tow it & they’ll need the keys to work on it. Now you have the keys from the repair guy. If it takes more than that,
Either have them tow it some place else or just down the block & give you the keys.
My mom knew we had messed with her van. She was more aware. Depending on the level of decline, less or more theatrics may be needed. Also, the mechanic can just be a friend of yours that she doesn’t recognize.
Hopefully other states have a similar setup: simple, helpful, and takes most of the responsibility off of the family and places it (appropriately) with the agency responsible for licensing oversight.
if your mother will not stop driving, disable the vehicle like so many readers here said.
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