This Con Artist is taking advantage of dad. He is in the hospital now. She is on disibility and does not own a home. She house sits for people and sleeps on friends couches. She is the grown daughter of his now deceased wife. She barely knows him and vice versa! She has been staying with him in his home on, off then recently called him an ambulance when he had an incident with severe pain.
My brother has POA and all but dad now says she offered to be his caregiver in his home when he comes home. He told brother he misses his wife a lot and she reminds him of her; her voice etc. She has this whole sorted background of thefts, forgeries, jail time and bankruptcies that dad is aware of but believes people can change etc. Because of her past and lack of communication with us ( his children) we feel she is going to play on his grief. Make him feel she LOVES him and convince him to marry her ( Sweetheart scam?). He is in his 80’s and she early 50’s.
Dad is aware no one in the family is happy about this. I mentioned why and look out because she might poison you, etc. He just laughed and said at least he could be with Jenny then so he is ok with that . ( his deceased wife). This won’t end well; help!

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What kind of immediate dirt can you dig up on her that would make this an unsafe discharge for him? Is she an alcoholic or an addict? If there’s an indication of drugs or alcohol, I don’t think he’d be allowed to go home with her. Also before discharge, make sure the discharge person has written proof of all her past transgressions, whatever they are. In addition to changing his bank accounts, your brother should establish an online social security access to dad’s records or change the password if dad already has one. SS is the portal from which identity theft sometimes occurs, and it’s hard to straighten out once it goes on for a while. Also anyone with the PW can redirect social security benefits to a new bank account, so this needs to be secured now. Good luck, you’re going to need it.
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Reply to Fawnby

This is just a guess, but if she has such a criminal background, she's not suitable to be a caregiver, and perhaps could be prevented from being such by involvement of the police, or even APS (although I have little confidence in them).

You might want to hire a private eye to get background info on her, collect it, and consult an attorney about getting an injunction to prevent her from moving in, or if she's already done so, to get her evicted.

This would most likely offend your father, so create an alternate plan to help him in his time of need so that you substitute something better for something potentially disastrous.

And as already mentioned, your brother should act to protect your father's assets from her.

Another thought is to contact the hospital, attending physician, and perhaps even a social worker and discuss the possibility of placement, even in rehab (assuming your father could benefit from it) on a temporary basis to give your family time to mobilize.

Best wishes for good luck in addressing this before it becomes a reality.
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Reply to GardenArtist

You brother should start by securing your Dad's financials and assets so that he has very limited access to anything (change to online banking, hide credit cards or put limits on them, SS checks, change passwords, hide checkbooks, driver's license, passport, deeds and titles, divert his mail to a PO box) etc.

If she had the sordid past like you say, maybe do a background check on her and print out her arrests and convictions and present that to you Dad. Tell him she's not a trustworthy or appropriate roommate/caregiver. I would not be surprised if, given an ultimatum, he would choose this woman over his other adult children because: 1) he is lonely, and 2) he may have the start of dementia and is losing his ability to use reason and logic so your arguments won't work on him, he can be inappropriately "infatuated" with her (also a characteristic of dementia).

At the same time while your Dad is in the hospital... have brother read the PoA doc to see what is required to have his authority become active. Get your Dad a discrete cognitive/memory exam while he is in the hospital if possible. If he is hospitalized because he fell or had a stroke, he would be going directly to rehab for about 20 days and this would be an opportunity to work on his permanent care situatiion. I wish you all the best!
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Reply to Geaton777

You do not mention in your profile or your other posts what your dad's physical and medical limitations are.
Why is he in the hospital now?
Has he gotten a diagnosis of dementia or even "Mild Cognitive Impairment"? If so your brothers POA would most likely become effective.
At that point the decision could be made to move him to Memory Care rather than go back home.
If he is cognizant then POA is not in effect.
But if he has physical or medical limitations that require care then you can tell the hospital Social Worker or discharge planner that it is not safe for him to return home as there is no responsible person to care for him. Would he then be sent to rehab for a bit?
At that point, or even now while he is in the hospital you and brother get into the house and "clean" for him. Change locks, get rid (put into storage or otherwise keep safe) all belongings that are not his. I would also install cameras in all rooms where cameras can legally be placed. (If legal in your state audio recording as well) Install cameras outside also.
Secure all his accounts as well. Freeze his credit cards. (I would also check his credit reports and see if any cards have been applied for and freeze there as well so no cards can be applied for)
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Reply to Grandma1954

Change the locks on the door. Get an order of protective custody. Your brother has POA and your father is in the hospital. Now is the time for him to open all new bank accounts and get new credit cards issued.
This same thing happened to my father. He was old but didn't have dementia and was in excellent health. So there was really nothing we could do. Until he got sick and was hospitalized. That's when I sprung into action as his POA and threw the girlfriend out (also way younger, didn't work, and out on a mental disability).
Would your father be able pass a competency test for dementia? Have him tested while he's in the hospital. Talk to the doctor ahead of time and tell them what's going on.
If your father is of sound mind and does not have dementia yet will not listen to reason about this scamming criminal who's moving in, throw down the gauntlet with him.
You and your brother have to give him the ultimatum that if he moves her in that he will be shunned from both of you and the whole family like he is dead. No visits. No communication of any kind. Nothing. When he needs help (and he will soon enough) no one does anything for him and the state takes over. Either he chooses his family or he chooses the scammer. One or the other because he can't have both.
I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes life is harsh but it's for his own good.
Only harm and bad things can come from this scammer moving into his house and I believe the last time you posted she was going to be returning with a 'friend'.
It's his family or his wh**e. Make him choose.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver

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