Follow
Share

My parents still live at home but my Mother's ability to take care of the bills has greatly diminished. She will pay the same bill twice, put the wrong bill in the envelope, and forget to pay bills all together. My Father is incapable of helping with the bills at all. I asked him to intercept the mail so that she doesn't try to pay the bills, but he has not. What are others doing to help with this?

Find Care & Housing
Eliminate paper bills. Have all bills paid electronically. You get notices via email about each bill. You pay the bills electronically.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to brandee
Report

The set up I had going was a shoe box on the kitchen table. She was allowed to read her magazines but everything else was put in the box until I was able to go through it. It worked very well! I was put on her checking account so I was able to write and send them out. You can also get the banks app that will give you the opportunity to send money directly from the account and go paperless. I'm with US Bank and their app is very good. I hope she hasn't hid statements/bills on you. I found some that almost time lapsed. The big ones are health premiums, homeowners insurance and utilities. For property, the water bill is usually every 6 months and very large. Hopefully, they're not driving and you don't have to deal with car insurance. I don't recommend dropping car insurance as someone might need to take them places with their vehicle. On that one, I had the vehicle on my insurance as an extra. Both cars, mine and Mom's was covered as long as only one was on the road. That way, I could drive mine, leave it at moms and take her car which was more comfortable for her. It worked out so much cheaper,too,as long as she doesn't drive.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JuliaH
Report

Are you POA for financial things?
If so you can set up Auto Payments and request Paperless Billing.
No bills will be sent to the house.
If you are not POA I guess you could do the same with your parents permission.
Tell mom (and dad) that you get a discount on the billing for Auto Pay. (In truth many do give a slight discount for Auto pay.)
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report
WhitneyS Oct 6, 2025
Thank you!
(0)
Report
If you are the POA have the bills sent to your home.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to lkdrymom
Report

A bigger question to consider is WHY this bill situation is happening? Dementia is likely at play with your parents so they need a full medical workup with cognition test included. Then decisions can be made about their future living arrangements once a diagnosis is made. Get POA going in the meantime. Your folks will not be able to live w/o 24/7 help if they're suffering from dementia.

I had POA for my parents when dad became unable to manage his mail. He had a brain tumor and mom was unable to manage any paperwork at all. I had to take over their finances 100% and then arrange a move into Assisted Living for both of them (from Independent Senior Living). Dad passed a year later, moms dementia advanced and she moved into Memory Care from AL.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Do they have a POA? If so that person can set the bills up so that they are either on auto-pay (no bills come in the mail), or they can endorse checks from the person's bank account to pay their bills.

Definitely do as Geaton suggests and have their mail diverted to a P.O. box or to your own address. This way you can do the bills for them. Take the checkbook and credit cards away from them now. They can't responsibly have these things anymore and you don't want them getting scammed or robbed.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
Report

Are you their PoA? If not, is anyone?

Are you joint on your parents' banking? If not, is anyone?

This info would be helpful in providing you with the best guidance...

I would go online and have all their mail diverted to either a PO box or to your home. Then I would open online banking portals for their checking account and get all their bills on auto pay. Even my property taxes can be automatically paid with Bill Pay through my bank.

Everything now needs to be digital. You set up a free gmail or other email account so that their logins and profiles don't get intermixed with yours. Use a password keeper app to create and keep strong passwords. If you aren't already joint on their account you need to get this in place.

You don't have to tell your Mom you're doing any of this.

I would go so far as to collect any blank check books and credit cards and keep them yourself. I discovered that my MIL had $930+ in overdraft fees, and dozens of boxes of printed checks because she kept misplacing them and reordering.

You can give them pre-paid Visa cards or a small amount of cash if they want to shop. I have all my Mom's important and sensitive information in her bedroom closet in a locking fireproof safe. I keep it locked all the time. You get 2 keys with each one.

You can purchase Life Lock or freeze their credit to protect them.

If they can't manage things like their bills, hopefully they aren't still responsible for their own medications, if they're on any. Or driving...?

Maybe it's time to consider an in-home aid or a facility for them?
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter