So, I have posted before about my friend Richard. I feel like he is slowly slipping away, it is getting more and more difficult to get him to participate in his own care. Last night I went over and fixed his dinner, his adult youngest son brought the grandkids by, which usually cheers him up. I left to go to the store, both because there were things he needed and because the son and I do not get along. When I got back, I tried to get him to let me help him get ready, change clothes, get into bed. He said he didn't feel good and did not want to even try, that he would sleep in the recliner. He is becoming more urine incontinent, and if I do not change his depends at least 2 or 3 times a day, he soaks through and is basically in a puddle all night. This morning I will try and get him up, into the shower, and change the pads on both the chair and bed. I do not mind the work of doing it, but it worries me that he is now so uncaring about his own hygiene. For most of his life he was a dynamic, hard working truck driver with 3.5 million safe miles on his record, only two accidents neither of which was his fault. He is fading away right before my eyes. There are underlying health issues, mostly diabetes 2 and post polio sysndrome, but nothing major wrong that will kill him outright, heart, lungs, bp all are good, within normal.
He misses church, going out to eat, seeing family. He has outlived two wives, is the youngest of 4 kids, nobody is in good health but his older siblings are at least still active. Even if he does not HAVE it, I feel like Covid is killing him because of the isolation....
Covid is very hard on ALL of us, and in instances like this where the only relief was getting out for meals, a movie, church, visits, it is devastatingly bad. But the incontinence means there is a whole lot more going on than depression.
I am worried about Richard's general living conditions, and what the staging is for him as regards dementia versus depression.
Wishing you good luck. Afraid I don't have any real answers to so much in these times.
What a dear and kind friend you are to check on him and to help him as much as you do.
It is so hard right now with the health pandemic. Is there anyway friends and family would be able to still visit but socially distance outside his home? Or would he be interested in Zoom visits?
We all need social connection and extra supports during this difficult time. I wonder if you can ask his doctor and I don't know if a change in medications or possible decline has affected him.
I hope something will cheer him and make things a little better for him.