I am a Power of Attorney and Executrix to someone for many years and have known him for 2/3 of my life. He has Aspergers and Attention Deficit. He is very intelligent but totally lacking social skills, empathy and just simple common sense and is very easily swayed by influences from people who are just acquaintances or strangers - to the detriment of his quality of life and the impact his unethical and sneaky actions have on other people. It is very difficult to reason with him.
About four years ago, he decided to change his will which was fine - no problem - as circumstances had completely changed. Well, he never said a word to me that he felt he had made some mistakes as to what was in the new will and so went to an attorney and told the attorney he felt he had been "forced and manipulated" (that never, ever happened - I always told him he makes the final decisions and my job is to carry them out and I will) and so he wanted a new will and a new person to administer his estate. I never had any idea of this action until about seven months after the fact. There is and never was a problem with what he wanted to put into the will - that is his right. But he went behind my back and got in touch with a man I feel would be a very foolish choice of a person (whom he barely knows) to administer his estate. When I found out his sneakiness, I felt very violated as I have proven time and time again to everyone I have very high ethics and morals and would most certainly carry out the will to the letter of the law. So I questioned him and asked if I was still in the picture or if I had been removed to handle his estate. He refuses to answer and is constantly seeking "input" from strangers.
In the meantime, I have no idea what, if any role, I have in his future and I feel I have a right to know where I stand legally. If he wants someone else, fine, but be honest and tell me. I told him if I am to remain in the picture, he has to re-establish the relationship since he violated my trust; he has to be open and honest and always speak the truth; and he had to promise never to go behind my back again. (He swore over and over again he would be open and honest but then he lies and does bad things.) He ignores everything that I ask in terms of getting an answer and I am left in limbo. I was advised under no circumstances to contact him - just do my POA job as always and wait to see what happens if I am or am not going to administer the estate. I am so furious at his actions because I have gone to the ends of the earth over and over again to care for him in every way possible - he knows it and everyone else does too and feels he should be extremely glad he has someone who cares and who is totally honest. And this is what he does to me - who does not deserve it. There is no family and I am his only friend. All the others ran long ago. Does anyone have any thoughts or comments?