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When you say your mother does not belong in a facility, doesn't that rather depend on what sort of facility?

Your mother cannot safely manage medications. Take them away from her. Do you or does anyone see her every day? Depending on what the medications are, it may be possible to change the formulations to modified release of some kind so that she doesn't need two visits.

I strongly question the assertion that your mother does not have dementia. Fifty years of epilepsy treatment would make her more, not less, vulnerable. Has this actually been investigated?
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It is not realistic to request a volunteer from a senior center or a neighbor go into a person’s home and assume medication management from a stranger. What happens if they make a mistake?

I would still seek out other options.

Aides cannot dispense medications (legally). The aide can point to the medication mediplanner and ask that the person take the meds at that time. And legally aides should not be filling
mediplanners either.

Would mom be eligible for a 55+ Community that has an attached health center? Or an AL with medication management services provided?

Medication mis-management leads to hospitalization. Can you speak with her providers and get meds that need only one dose per day vs twice a day? This is a hard situation as many other seniors have this as a potential problem as well.

Good luck to you!
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gdaughter Jun 2019
You nailed it!
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How about a volunteer through the senior center to assist with meds that might understand moody and forgetfulness? Could you split up the aide help to 1 hr 4 days a week instead possibly to get you more days with eyes on your Mom? What kind of help is the aide providing?
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Ipromised May 2019
I have not considered anyone from the Senior Center. I will make that call. As far as her aide, she doesn't really "do" anything. Mama prides herself on cleaning her house and she loves doing laundry! (CRAZY RIGHT!) I basically expect her aide to get her out of the house and 'hang out' with her for a while...essentially a paid best friend. She doesn't drive. I worry about her being lonely. She has had a tough life. She could very easily fall into a low, low. It's nothing to walk in and she just be crying bc she's sitting there in the quiet thinking about her brother who has passed away or her mother who passed away many many years ago.
Thank you for your time responding to me.
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Hi Ipromised. So stressful I know. Is there a neighbor that you could ask to stop over your Mom’s when you cannot be there to dispense meds? I have to ask, how do you know she does not have early signs of dementia? With memory getting worse and visual cues not working sometimes? Is your Mom struggling with other things? Bill paying? Driving? Keeping up with household chores? Hygiene? It’s all very difficult to face I know. I’m caring for my Mom and struggling badly today myself.
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Ipromised May 2019
The neighbor idea is a good one. I failed to mention, my mom is also very moody; always has been. I did have a neighbor giving her her meds up until about 2 years ago and mama snapped on her, making her cry. She called me later and said she loved mama, but she just couldn't be responsible for mama's meds.
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Well if your mom is taking her meds incorrectly it would be difficult to know if she has dementia or is over medicated.
Dementia in the beginning can be very subtle.

Having said that, the important detail is how to get your mom’s meds given correctly.

Obviously your current method does not work.

Have you checked to see if she can take all of her meds at once instead of AM&PM. Extended Release is available for many meds.

Next (or maybe first) I would look into the locked medication boxes that only open at a specific time. I’ve never used those but many on this forum mention them.

I tried calling my aunt each morning to walk her through her meds. She would say. Ok I’m taking it now. She was not. I had installed cameras and I could see her hang up the phone and go right past the meds. In the time we were talking and she hung up the phone she would forget.

She had one very important pill she needed to take on an empty stomach and wait 30 min before eating anything. After two ER visits in one weekend I faced the fact that I had to have an aide come in each morning to give that pill and monitor her food intake.
I know this is hard for you and mom. It may be time to try to get her located closer to where you live to make life easier.
Hopefully someone will have better ideas to help.
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gdaughter Jun 2019
That was something I meant to include with my response...to check with MD's and see about necessity of meds and timing. Sometimes meds they prescribe are not as essential; sometimes when MD's might know the whole situation they may realize the risks outweigh the benefits.
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