Our parents, in their early 80s, both have dementia and physical disabilities. We've been looking at ALF buildings for a year at the recommendation of their doctor. They have good long term care insurance that will pay 100% of the cost for a good assisted living apartment, but there's no way they could afford round-the-clock care at home, even with the insurance. And the house would need some serious renovations in order to be a safe and healthy environment for them, even if they could afford to stay there. We've discussed this lots of times with both of them, and have done our due diligence on the buildings we've looked at.
When a nice apartment became available in the building he liked best, Dad decided to put everything in motion. This was about a month ago, and since then we've been working on getting all the screening and paperwork done, and now it's time. They move in a few days, and both of them are nervous wrecks. They forget why they're moving, and worse, they even forget that dad made this decision in a lucid moment, so they think they're being evicted, which is of course very upsetting to them because they don't understand why and they don't retain our explanations, even if they seem to understand it briefly.
We're using a senior transition company to help them plan where the furniture can go and what to keep and put in storage, and we have gone over the details with them like the floor plan and the apartment number and everything, and reminded them that they've already spent lots of time there at the building having meals and meeting people. We've also tried just reassuring them that this is the right thing to do and that everything is going to be okay. It adds so much emotional strain to an already difficult situation that I'm very worried about how they'll make it through this. If you've helped parents with dementia make this type of move, do you have any tips for keeping them calmer through the process?