Hi, I am new to caregiving and dont even know where to begin...except to first express gratitude that I found this site :) My mom is 63 and was diagnosed with leukemia about a month ago. We have not been close for a while but I have been taking care of her since she moved in with me last month. I was working two jobs that I have had to leave and I also have a five year old who is very excited to have nana living with us (silver lining :) ) When my mom first came home, I thought it would be no problem with her insurance to pay for a nursing home (yeah i know, so naive lol) so when the reality set in that she was just going to be home, with me..just...until....my heart just sank. I did not sign up for this. I am not ready for this. How can I even begin to get ready for something like this? I have surprised myself as I am handling the situation a lot better than I imagined I would...my mom however is another story. She has decided not to go through with chemotherapy because she remembers how hard it was on dad (we lost him to cancer in 2010), but whenever I try to talk to her about it and just offer support the best way I know how, she either shuts down completely or goes on and on about how its too early to be talking about chemo and that God is just going to make her cancer go away. She goes back and forth between depression and denial and its exhausting. Her hospice nurses say that she can still have a very good quality of life if she makes an effort to get more mobile(while shes still able), but she does not want to put forth the effort...its very hard for me to deal with because she has always been a very manipulative person...I find myself having getting more easily frustrated with her I just cant help it because I know what her personality is. Her nurse told me once that she may be depressed and may need some encouraging to get her motivated to fully live life to the fullest while she is still with us...its hard for me to find encouraging words for her when she never truly enjoyed life before she was ill. She has been unhappy for years for reasons that I have never really been able to pinpoint so how am I supposed to encourage someone who gave up on life long before she was terminal? I know I have been rambling and I apologize if I am not making much sense...I just wonder if anyone else has dealt with a situation similar to mine and what solution they came up with, if any?