Help please... so sad.

As bad as you feel, you have to acknowledge and accept that he needs more from you than you can physically and mentally give. If you kept up the charade it could put his health and welfare at risk. How would you feel then?

This is a lose-lose scenario, but you need to give him time to adjust, and you need to cut yourself a break. After all, you are reclaiming your own life. Make the most of it, and don’t drown yourself in guilt.

You will always be your daddy’s little girl, and you love him, choosing his health and wellbeing first. That’s the brave and kind thing to do, even if he doesn’t realize it.

He may be sad, in fact, and he does need the time to adjust if he is able. This stroke he cannot understand has made this a necessity you logically know and recognize but your heart hurts. You are grieving his loss. He is grieving his loss. And it is worth the grieving. Sadness is here for the times we feel hurt and helpless in the face of life's losses. It is normal. Tears help relieve our pain and wash it from us so we can function. Tell your Dad you are sorry. Recognize your own grief that you are not God, not omnipotent, not a fairy with a wand, but just one human being seeing loss and feeling pain. Pain is a part of life for us all. I am so sorry for all the grief around you and I hope for a good adjustment; just understand that whatever the facts you are a good and loving person doing what you CAN do; you are not an evil felon who should feel guilty. Caring people are good people, and you care. I know this hurts, and just as for your Dad, there is so little to do but tell you I am so sorry for this loss for him, and for you.

Bless you for looking out for your dad even though it’s so very hard. You’ve gotten him to a place where he’s safe and will get the care he needs, he’s lucky to have you advocating for him. It’s so sad to see a parent decline and struggle. I wish you both peace

It will take time for him to adjust.
He needs to learn that the caregivers will give him the help that he needs and it is not just you that can help him. If you were to visit sooner than they suggest he would rely on you not the caregivers.
He may tell you that he is unhappy, the food is bad, they are taking care of him but it is just like when you were a little kid in school and you would come home and tell your parents that ...no one likes me, the food is terrible, the teachers are mean.
Let him adjust.
When you do visit if he needs help with something the caregivers/aides should be doing let them do their job Again this is so he does not remain dependent on you.
When you get ready to leave don't make a fuss, tell him you will see him soon, give him a hug and a kiss and leave. As difficult as it is do not bring him home for the holidays. Bring family to him in small gatherings. Several visits over a few days is better than one day with 30 people at one time.
Yes you are sad but don't let dad know. when you leave save your tears for the car. If you are sad and upset he will pick up on that.