Help our sister is trying to take over and be in control! What do we do?

For July 2019 through August 2020, your sister was in control. She took on a huge burden. She put in a lot of work. She knows your mother's needs better than anyone. Is your mother malnourished? Is your mother kept clean? Does your mother have wounds on her skin?

I think it is great that family are all chipping in to help your mother. There has to be one person in charge otherwise it gets confusing. I am in charge of my mother but I do include my family in important decisions. We have family meetings. They pretty much go along with what I say and do. It is always in the very best interest of my mom. You need to develop thick skin and do what is best for your mother. Fighting and bickering will create disharmony in your family and then things can go south very quickly. Is your sister making good decisions on behalf of your mother? Taking charge is not as easy as one thinks, it is time consuming and stressful. I would give your sister some credit for taking on such an important role. Try discussing your concerns with her in a calm and non critical manner. Your mother has great help with family, she is so fortunate. Everyone plays an important role caring for a loved one, but some folks are better than others making sound decisions, like medication, side effects, talking to doctors, diet, and so much more. It is not easy for the person who is in charge, they have great responsibility. I at times have to be firm about my mothers care she receives for it is in her best interest. Good luck.

If your sister was the full time caregiver for your mother for over a year, I can see why she thinks she is in control.

If she is doing a good job, let her.

Wow. This is a lot of people all working on behalf of one elder. I'd be interested in hearing your sister's side of things because I was once in a bad situation of total chaos where someone needed to take charge. I stepped in and took ownership/accountability of the situation ( no one else wanted to be in charge) but new problems/issues were constantly popping up with elder and, in the process of handling those, I quickly found that I really was the only one who knew the situation. Diet changes, medication changes, changes in falls status, changes in safety needs, updates from doctors/nurses and I could go on and on. I was really the only one who truly understood it as it changed so quickly. I would send email updates, but people often did not read them, claimed not to understand them, or told me the updated info was wrong and suggested that I get more info for them!! My helpers only wanted to do the same things the same old way and it wasn't that way anymore. Then, I was accused of being "bossy" and "having an agenda" when I truly was just a person trying to help a family that was unable to manage and elder was getting lost in the shuffle.

Without knowing your sister’s side of the story it is impossible to comment.

I did read your profile. Your mom has many, many health issues.

I urge you to follow Alvadear’s advice and contact a mediator so all of you can settle this and properly care for your mom.

Best wishes to you and your family.

I would contact the website Mediate.com and consider family mediation. This is way too many cooks spoiling a stew. How will you ever agree on anything at this point.
Does the sister currently giving care have POA? If so she pretty much calls the shots and you are there to "help" her. Ask what she needs and make schedules to do this.
I would be the last to step into a swirl of 8 siblings at war over how to care for one Mom. Good luck working it out. Moreover, I side with the Sister who is "taking over" at this point. Someone needs to be in charge here. You cannot get the input of every single sibling in this case on ever single step. THAT would be my definition of chaos.
Wishing you the best of luck going forward. And how lovely that there is all this help! Something we almost never see.