Help! I don't know how to handle this.

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I am fairly new to all of this, I am caring for both my dad 87 yrs who had a stroke and mom 83 yrs who has early stages of dementia and epilepsy. Problem is, we brought them to live with us here in the states , since my uncle who cared for them passed away in August. Every single day they keep saying they want to go home, that can not happen there is absolutely no one to take care of them. When we went to my uncle funeral my mother was forgetting to take her meds, had a couple of seizures in 1 month and dad was taking aspirin and his stroke meds like it was candy. When I took them to their dr, dad had lost 22 lbs in less than 6 months and mom was severely anemic. Their doctor here in the states highly recommends they are not to be sent back home since they are not able to care for themselves. Since they have been with me 7 months) dad has gain weight, mom is not anemic and no seizures. My mom says if we don't take them home they will run away, I just really hate hearing this, they just don't understand they cannot be alone 3000 miles away! We are 5 sisters we really get along well, we all take turns caring for them. They live in the apartment downstairs from me, 2 bedroom room, very nice accommodations I cook,clean .... My sisters take turns taking them on weekends. But AGAIN they want to go home, I really don't know how to handle this, they are so hard headed !!!

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Is it possible for them to get good nursing care/caregivers for them at a reasonable price in Mexico? I vaguely remember a post on here where someone had put their mother into a assisted living in Mexico that was a lot cheaper than the U.S. Alternatively, maybe take them back for short visits?
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Thank you all for your suggestions I will definitely try them. Very happy to be part of this site !!!!
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Rosi, when they ask you when they can go home,
I suggest you smile and calmly tell them you will
speak to the Dr about that. They may ask you many, many, times and even
when it starts to bother you, calmly repeat the answer.
I agree with others that you should have a back up
plan and look at some nearby facilities in case they decline. I am tired after
3 year of caring for both my parents with lots of help.
Maybe even your uncle's health was affected.
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They are so lucky to have you and your sisters to care for them.I'm sorry they don't understand and you are going through this.
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Tacy022 yes I have POA which was given to me a few years ago, and we do not deal with any family or friend or people that deal with trafficking we are Americanized as any other US citizen
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There are alot of cultural differences between the US and Mexico. Unless your parents were from the cities, most people there do not get the medical help they need and rely pretty much on midwives, botonicas or old superstitions. Your profile states you live in Chicago and as you most likely know, it is a haven for human trafficing. My concern is they may have friends or other "concerned" family members that may help them get back to Mexico. Have you had them deemed incompetent or are you their poa or guardian?
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freqflyer, yes they are US CITIZENS they lived in the USA for over 50yrs both worked and contributed, yes they are receiving MEdicare not Medicaid
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rosi614, please clarify, in another posting elsewhere you mentioned your parents are getting Medicare. Are they getting Medicare or is it Medicaid? Medicare is only offered to citizens who have contributed through payroll taxes a certain amount before the program is given to them.
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Wanting to "go home" is very common in elderly people who are disabled with illness and/or dementia. "Home" is somewhere else. A place in time when things were good and happy and secure. You've received some good suggestions above.

I think it's wonderful that you and your siblings are working harmoniously in caring for your parents, that everyone's pitching in. It's admirable.
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it sounds like you have a good system and you should be congratulated for this. From my experience sometimes parents really don't understand and they feel they are self sufficient. Going home is a place and a comfort zone. Things to think about: try to make sure that they feel at home in their home.Are there pictures reminding them of home? Are there tasks they can do to feel important? Set the tables, fold their wash, dust her own house? Anything they can do for any of the daughters to show they are needed? Can you help them create picture books of their place in Mexico? Have you had any religious person visit and welcome them?

It sounds like you are doing the right thing. If after 7 months they are still asking to go home they probably will not stop asking! Do they ask your sisters the same thing? If not, maybe you need to ask them how they deal with it. Tell them they are home and you are so happy they are here . And , as much as this is hard to do, train yourself to not listen or answer their questions. Every time you do you just keep perpetuating the discussion. Redirect yourself! You all can do this.
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