My father at 90 still lives at his home insists to stay there. My sister and I have talked to him many times about going to a type of assisted living- not cooperative to that. He is not eating properly, forgets what month and day it is. Refuses to see Drs when he feels bad runs to drug store for advise. We have had in home care there but he chases them away because he can be very mean to people, says he needs no help. My mother died over a year ago and I believe he has never gotten over that. We have taken him to golden age center for activities, attended many events for elder people, but as soon as he attends for a while he always has an excuse why he can't go back. He still insists on driving.
My sister has power of attorney. We need suggestions on who we can contact to help us. If we force him to go to assisted living facility what happens then? We are located in Ohio if that makes a difference.

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I think u need an evaluation. Forgetting to eat...can't remember the month. Could be early stage of Dementia or depression.
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Sounds as if dad is still considered competent. Read the POA it may not even be activated. Many require a incapacitated determination before being valid.

Dad has the right to make his own bad decisions.
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mindys Dec 2018
You are so right about him making bad decisions, Yes he is still considered competent.  The test they give for that is so crazy, you can tell them the things he does but it would be up to us to make the final decisions if we disagree with their determination.
You are in the sorry position that many of us find ourselves in: waiting for the fall.

Dad will fall, or fall ill. He will be taken to the hospital and admitted. While he is there, you and your sister must present a united front to the discharge planners and tell them that he is no longer safe to live at home.

You can call your local Area Agency on Aging and ask for a "needs assessment"; he may listen to them before he listens to you.
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