Help needed. Dementia, manipulation, hallucinations and more. How can I deal with this better?

Know these subjects covered in other threads but all cases different as we all know.

Looking for help and how to reply when I get " I never ask you for anything but you don't help me" and " You have let me down"

My 93 year old father in care. Needs help with washing and dressing. Needs meals made and incontinence now most days. He has days that He is lucid. He asks me to take him home, take him to place he was brought up, take him to see an old neighbour who he promised to keep in touch with ( not true. She has never visited and he has not seen her for years) would I phone her for him.

When I say no he gets mad and starts the trying to make me feel guilty.

I end up falling out with him. How can I deal with this better. He does not forget the things he wants and it becomes like an obsession. Driving me crazy.