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Nan has had dementia for years, she has to have 24hr a day care, which means Mum,my sister and myself have to take turns to stay with her. She frequently talks to people that are not there and sleeps most of the day & night. Owns her own home but cannot manage stairs, doesnt know where she is or what things are. Cant eat or drink on own. Major rows over care as sister doesnt agree - Nan owns her own home?? Any suggestions pls

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The experience of other people being there could also be a symptom of her Dementia. People with Parkinsons or Lewy Bodies form of Dementia often experience visual and auditory hallucinations which they believe and experience as real.. This can often cause fear and confusion for the person, particularly when they are being told that no-one or nothing is there. the more effective way to deal with this is entering her reality and reassure her that you are there with her to keep her safe. Medication is NOT always an option or solution for people with Dementia particularly the types i mentioned. Check out the Alzheimers Australia website for more info.
Best wishes
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My mom would go to church everyday but when the dementia hit hard we had to stop. Mom was not verbal but if she was in bed and upset I would ask her if she wanted to pray and would start the Our Father and she remembered and could say every word. After saying the our father and Hail Mary 10x she would calm down. Just wanted to give you another suggestion.
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Sounds like what my mom goes through. Seroquel has really been the only thing that helps her sleep through most of the night. She starts Sundowning and it goes on and on until she goes to bed. UTIs make it even worse. She doesn't recognize her home most of the time, either. Heartbreaking and wretched disease. She can't walk/wander but will bang on the bed or throw things to "get someone's attention". Sees people and animals. Is your Nan able to follow a story if you read to her? I read my mom books about farming and the James Herriot books - she grew up on a farm and they seem to settle her down. I know how frustrating it is for everyone. I always try very hard to remember that it has to be worse for her than it is for me to deal with. What a scary place to be in. When she frets over something I go ahead and "handle it" and reassure her until she's at ease that whatever was bothering her has gone away. Good luck to you all.
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I hate to promote medication but is your Nan on anything? My mom (who everyone called Nan) was put on seraquil at night and it really help with "all the people" in the room. Has anyone mentioned hospuce? One last thing. We purchased a stairchair for my dad with bad knees 15 years ago and it was a lifesaver for mom when she could no longer handle steps.
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What is "sleeping all the time"? 15 hours a day? 20? How is her eating?

I'm wondering if Nan might be eligible for Hospice care. Have you considered that?
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What you describe is common dementia behavior.

The sister who is in charge of Nan's finances (does she have POA) may be legitimately concerned about Nan's money lasting the rest of her life. Or she may have less noble motivations.

But the fact is, Nan needs 24/7 care. If you and Mom decline to continue providing this, then something else would have to be arranged, wouldn't it? An appropriate care center where all of you can visit her frequently as loving family members and not as hands-on caregivers might be a huge benefit for everyone.

If you no longer feel that keeping Nan at home is the best for her, "resign" from your part of the caregiving arrangement. Be polite but firm.
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Thank you for replying - its my middle sister, who is charge of Nan's finances and has the care allowance. Its very frustrating as my mum (next of kin) doesn't have a clue what is going on financially and she isn't well herself. I do think a care home would be the next step forward, but again we are met with opposition!! Nan has been treated for UTI and it doesn't seem to be that. She wakes us in the night moaning and talking to herself and says there are to many people in her room and a little girl is trying to get into her bed.
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I aggregate (collect these tidbits on Dave M. Knowledge Network)

Sunrise Syndrome,(sun?riz) a condition in which a person with Alzheimer's wakes up rising in the morning and their mind is filled with delusions which include include beliefs about theft, the patient's house not being their home, a spouse is an impostor, belief an intruder is in the house, abandonment, spousal and paranoia, people eavesdropping. Sometimes the person may carry over content of a dream.

One observation is that Sunrise Syndrome is different from Sundowning because the person may wake up in a confabulation mind set. During a Sunrise Syndrome conversation with the content may filled with confabulations; verbal statements and/or actions that inaccurately describe history, background and present situations.

Sundowning in contrast displays as confusion, disorientation, wandering, searching, escape behaviors, tapping or banging, vocalization, combativeness; the demons of anxiety, anger, fear, hallucinations and paranoia come out.


Hallucinations and delusions are symptoms of Alzheimer's disease and other dementias. With hallucinations or delusions, people do not experience things as they really are.

Delusions are false beliefs. Even if you give evidence about something to the person with dementia, she will not change her belief. For example, a person with dementia may have a delusion in which she believes someone else is living in her house when she actually lives alone. Delusions can also be experienced in the form of paranoid beliefs, or accusing others for things that have not happened. For example, the person with dementia may misplace an item and blame others for stealing it. Some people with dementia may have the delusion that others are "out to get them." For example, he may believe that his food is being poisoned.

Reliable Support by Experts for family and CareGivers
Here is A knowledge network for caregivers' from Organizations and Associations | Government Local, State, Federal, International as well as: Medical Centers, Hospitals, Schools and University's. Dave Mainwaring's Knowledge-Network http://dandyfunk2.blogspot.com
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Please clarify what sister doesn't agree about? Clearly, Nan needs round the clock supervision. What does her doctor say about her condition, might her hallucinations be helped by meds? Has she been checked recently for a uti? Would she benefit from a full time facility and have you looked into that?
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