What stage do you think he is in? How can I best help my mom take care of my dad?

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My father has had Alzeimers since early 2008. Right now, he seems to know who most people are but gets confused about what is going on around him. He can't take directions (like "sit over here") and he doesn't make a lot of sense when he talks. He just started physical therapy because he is having a hard time moving around and is in pain. He can't read or write anymore but still watches tv (doesnt really understand it though). He is on the Exelon patch along with other meds. My mom is having a hard time helping him bathe, brush his teeth etc. She is NOT someone who will go to a support group and has never been on a computer in her life. She frequently gets impatient with him. I have 4 sisters, 3 of whom are around town but I live the closest-less than a mile away. We are all trying to help our mom as much as we can but dont know what to do. He resists being "babysat". He says he can be left alone in the house but he really can't. My mom will leave for an hour tops and he will just sit on the couch and listen to the tv. Where does it all go from here? This is my first posting.

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Oops, purple alz box is upper RIGHT, not Left, sorry.
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Hi Cindy, welcome. You are in a tough spot, but not alone. There r many here who will support you so u can help support mom n dad. Many won't go to a support group. Could u help educate mom, provide some books or pamphlets from time to time. Sign her up for any dementia/alz newsletters u can find that will send her paper/snailmail. Give her breaks- one take care of dad, another take mom for an afternoon of something she would enjoy. Let her talk n vent as much as she will. What stage? Good article on the alz section of this site ( purple box, upper left-click on, look for info for caregivers, read down to stages of alz.) be aware there r many different types of dementia, and mixed dementia too. Each person is unique in their specific symptoms so it can be confusing. Try to focus on not blaming him for how he is-he cant help that his brain is not working correctly. Learn all you can about this sad illness-it will help you. Validate him as often as possible, don't challenge him that his perceptions are wrong:work from where he is rather than where u wish he was. My husband says it doesn't get any better, for sure. Make times of joy at each opportunity. Take care to give mom breaks, yourself breaks and keep coming here-you'll find much needed support, love and true understanding of this overwhelming situation. We r here for you-keep coming back! Kimbee
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