How can I help my elderly mom?

Get her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist while she's still in rehab. Meds may help her agitation and fright.

Google "sundowning".

Dementia is not a " just". It affects everything, because in essence, it's the loss of brain cells. It is an inevitably progressive neuro degenerative disease.

My mother did not walk the last year of her life. I wouldn't describe her as "bed ridden," though. She was only in bed to sleep at night and sometimes take a nap. The rest of the day she was in a wheelchair that fit her well. She went to nearly all the activities, ate with the other residents, played cards, colored, etc. In a way it was a relief that she couldn't walk -- no chance of falling.

My mom's nh worked very hard at managing her pain. She was sensitive to a lot of drugs, and that made it hard, but they did it! I think that is what I'd really focus on if I were you. If the pain were managed well your mom might be willing to move more and possibly even do some therapy. Talk to the director of nursing, and/or bring it up at the next care conference.

They can't continue with physical therapy if she is not cooperating and showing at least some progress. Insurance is very strict about that. (This prevents an unscrupulous rehab from keeping patients in therapy indefinitely, just to collect insurance.)

Does your mom use a wheelchair?

Where is she now? Did she not get any rehab at all?
There are simple exercises she can try but which ones depends on her current abilities... will the doctor order physical therapy?
One site I have found that mirrors a lot of the exercises my mom was shown is eldergym, google it.

tikimonkey24, it could be that your Mom's dementia is causing too much confusion for her to walk.   My Mom had that, she tried physical therapy but didn't understand what she needed to do, thus her brain was telling her she could stand/walk, but when she did she would fall to the floor.

Any time someone is totally bedridden for even a couple of weeks, no matter how old they are, the muscles in the legs will start to freeze up.   Being bedridden for 3 months, it can take months to get the legs working again.   But the brain needs to cooperate.   With Dementia, sometimes it can't.

What are the doctors telling you the reason your Mom is bedridden and unable to re-learn how to walk?    Can your Mom talk, read, eat, dress herself?

Just that its her dementia. Yeah she just refuses to do anything.. im scared of whats going to happen next. Just always be bedridden?? I refuse to give up on her. She can still read, she knows who we all are, but she does says weird things... especially at night when she is trying to sleep. But she can carry a good conversation with you when she is not so sleepy. I just dont know what to do.

she is in a skilled nursing facility. But they said that since she refuses to do therapy, they are going to stop it this friday. :( i just don't see how that is going to help her by stopping therapy. i know she can be difficult but it's because she has pain and looks like she is scared sometimes to move. i would have thought they knew how to deal with someone with dementia, but i guess not.

and thank you! i will google it! :)

thank you all! all of this helps me as this is all new to me and my family. We don't know how to cope with all this. Yes i keep telling the nurses and doctor that her body is in a lot of pain, once you can fix the pain then she might be willing to walk again. but until she can get pass her pain that's all she feels. :( she doesn't uses a wheelchair bc the rehab people say they can't force her, but i tell them also that you guys should be able to learn how to deal with people who aren't willing but not bc they don't want to, but because their pain won't let them. Plus it's on their time not when my mom is willing to go into a wheelchair.