How can I help my Mother get over the loss of her beloved pet?

This is a tough situation. You could get another dog, but sometimes it causes someone to mourn the missing dog even more.

What you might try is to locate pet service organizations and see what facilities they go to, then take your mother there to interact with a service dog that's been trained for older people. If she enjoys it and it makes her feel better, you could consider getting another dog.

In the meantime, have you contacted a pet finders group? Put up notices in local stores, papers? Contacted local rescue groups and shelters? Perhaps someone has found the dog and is searching for his home.

Something that can also work, depending on her cognitive level, is to get a stuffed toy dog. Even though it can't interact, just petting the soft fur can be calming.

Another option is to tell her is what another poster calls a therapeutic fib...that you contacted shelters and someone found the dog and brought it home for their young child, who just adores the dog, and the child would be very upset if the dog were taken away. Then segue into whether she'd like another dog of her own.

GardenArtist gave some really great advice options. I think all of them are worth trying. Depending on your mother, the last one might help change her heart. But if she is able, maybe going to shelters and having time to spend with a dog will lift her spirits and be a distraction from mourning. Or getting a stuffed animal that looks like the dog might help console her. Also, do you have any pictures of her and the dog? Do you think getting one nicely framed would help?

Grieving isn't about getting over and forgetting, it's about coming to terms and feeling better and living with the grief in a way that it doesn't interfere with your life. Your poor mother :( losing a pet is so devastating, especially in her condition.
I hope she finds some peace.

Can you tell us a bit more? Does your mom live alone? Or with you? How far along the alzheimers journey is she?

My mom actually killed her dog by overfeeding him--though I was actively begging her not to. But she could not remember. However, about two weeks after his death, she didn't even remember having him!!!!!

Dogs are wonderful for elders. But elders are not always wonderful for dogs. I would be very wary of getting her another one if she would have to care for it on her own.

Call this pet recovery service. They get the job done & will find & capture your mom's dog! buddhadogrescueandrecovery

That is a terrible way to lose a pet. Death is hard enough, but to not know what happened to the dog has to be terrible.

As suggested, depending on her mental capacity, the idea of saying that a family with children has the dog now and that the children love the dog may help. All of the ideas are good ones. Just understanding her grief and validating it is vital. Much of the rest depends on her mental and physical health.

Please update us. This is something everyone can learn from.
Carol

Would finding a dog that looks similar to the one she had help? And then try to seek therapy?

I think the suggestion of getting a very toy dog could be the answer depending on how much your mother understands. If the pet recovery service doesnt come up with anything. My husband was in hospital last winter with pneumonia and an Alzheimers patient there had a toy cat given him which he loved. It kept him calm even though he had never had animals in his life before!

This happened to me, so it's not far-fetched if you want to make it into a story... I lost a cat during a move, the cat had bolted and we didn't have time to do an exhaustive search. It broke my heart. A few months later, I received a call from someone who had just moved into my old neighbourhood. They found my cat on their doorstep and had taken her in. They wanted to know - did I want her back or could they keep her? They had grown fond of her. I was happy to leave her in her new home, and they were thrilled with my response. So it's possible! (Just in case that makes the white lie a little easier.)

Keep checking the animal shelters and hopefully the dog had a microchip inserted. Put up flyers everywhere and have her help. No one has a right to "make" another "get over" the death or loss of a pet or human, and you would serve her better if you tried to help find the dog. Scared animals usually return to their previous homes. Their sense of smell is amazing. Keep trying to help find the dog and if after you have exhausted all avenues, get her another dog to love. It is so soothing to pet an animal, lowers blood pressure and keeps someone with dementia much calmer. My husband pets both of our dogs so much, one would think their hair would come off! Good luck hunting.

Sometimes putting flyers on stop signs and on mailboxes helps. If you have a picture, maybe someone will have her dog under their care. Explain the situation in the flyer. Most likely the dog has been taken in.

Include local veterinarians as places to tell about the missing dog. Sometimes people will find a dog and take it to a vet to check it out before keeping it. A photo would be a great help.

I hope the dog is recovered, years ago our dog bolted when a hot air balloon flew low and somebody found him for us a few days later. I moved in with my mom and I can't tell you how much she loves my cats. They are good for her and she is good for them, just talking to them and petting, passes the time and gives her happiness.

You've got to keep looking. If it was a widespread storm a lot of times animal rescue people have to move displaced pets between many temporary foster situations, (in private homes). Priority being watered, fed, not loose in the street, then hope to find the owners later. Eventually they get organized and get them to more central locations where an owner can find them. He may still turn up as much as 3 months later depending on the size of the storm. Photos are best, print and write phone, leave with veterinarians, shelters, rescue orgs. Photos attached to E postings to if you can, like Craig's List Lost Dog post.

There is just so much that goes into the making of the human/dog bond, nothing really replaces it. I've been involved in rescue since I was in grade school, had many of my own dogs as well. They are all so individual, there are certain ones that we just "click" with, I remember most of them, but one in particular still stands out, ...even though she passed 17 years ago. There's no replacing or forgetting that, ...hard to explain. At least I do know what happened to her, that has to be really hard for your Mom wondering. Her mind may be going back to the start of their relationship, (just as we think over, start to finish, our relationships with humans after we lose them). That could be bringing out some of the hurt of losing your Dad. Especially if the dog became a great distraction and "friend" when she needed it most. Fingers crossed for you, hope you find him, it's going to be a really long time if you don't.

A pet is so often a member of the family and grieving for them is much the same as grieving the loss of a spouse or child. Your mom needs time to grieve in her own way and no matter how much you may think it is silly or want her to move on, grieving is a personal journey. Prior to meeting my husband, I had a dog who was my everything. She got me through some really tough times. When I married and had children, she didn't mean any less to me, she just became a surrogate to the children and watched over them. Losing her was devastating. I grieved and cried daily for a very long time. Even today when I speak of her I become emotional and sad and she has been gone for 16 years.

I am sorry for your mother's loss. My 90 yr old mother went through a similar experience with her cat. I went out and bought a very realistic stuffed cat. I knew it was risky because it was possible that it would remind her more of her loss. She was very pleased with the gift and it seemed to comfort her. The new "cat" (she named it Douglas) has been by her side for 2 years. It gives her pleasure daily. This might be worth a try with your mom.

It just occurred to me to check your profile; I see you're in Texas, so I assume the storm was Patricia?

I do recall reading that there were some animal rescue efforts, so that might be a possibility as well. I don't know who to suggest to contact; I think the American Red Cross only focuses on rescuing and assisting people, but they might have some insight into organizations that have rescued pets lost during Patricia's wrath.

You might also try putting up posters in stores, and vets offices (good idea Grandma) in the direction Patricia took away from your area. If the dog was caught up in a flood, he might have been washed upstream or downstream, depending on the direction of the particular water body and flow.

buy another pet for chrismas,her birthday or randomly

How Terrible!!!!! I'm worried about my mom, her little dog is getting very old and she holds her all day long. I'm so worried something might happen to her.

I agree, get a similar looking dog maybe she will believe he is the same one. And if not, she will grow to love it

Lord I'm sorry for you. No matter what happens, the grief never truly ends. It scabs over, never really heals, and sometimes the scab comes off. I don't know what to recommend. I do think another dog would help in time.

Thank you so much for all of your answers and concerns. We did get my mother a new pet. We took her to adopt a dog and she fell in love with one. Then the very next day the rescue center found her dog. The joy in her face when they were reunited is impossible to describe. It was a very heart-wrenching 3 days and all of your comments were greatly appreciated. I couldn't have done it without all of you. We now have her dog back and a new family member as well, much younger and hopefully will help when we have to deal with her other dog's eventual death. This is a wonderful sight.

Oh..what a happy ending! I kept looking back to this thread hoping that you would find her dog..how wonderful!

That's wonderful news - couldn't have worked out better. I'm so glad that your mother now has her beloved pet plus another with whom to share her life.

Thanks for sharing the happy update.

That is truly painful, and speaking from experience, time and compassion and being led by her needs may be all that you can do. The compounding Alzheimer's makes the loss fresh every time she remembers it. I am so sorry. I hope you can both find some peace somehow.

He may be found alive. #1 you could put flyers with his face and description and place them around your city, #2 go to the local animal shelter, #3 go to the ASPCA -both to see if he's there or #4 (and don't take this the wrong way) as she has Alzheimer's, .buy a dog akin to your old dog's looks.

Llama and Somebody, see NeverAlone's post on this page. They got a new little dog for her mother, and lo and behold, the missing dog was found the next day! Great ending to what could have been a sad story.

Well there is only one way to help Your Mother get over the loss of loosing Her pet dog, GET NOTHER LITTLE PUPPY, HOUSE TRAINED, You will be totally amazed.

Garden: Wow! That's great! I figured the dog may be found!

Never, Yaaaaay! So glad for you and your Mom. :-) Losing one to illness/accident/age can be hard enough, but I just can't imagine never knowing where one went. My "special" girl I mentioned who passed all those years back was unique on the outside as well. Over the years I've seen ones that looked a big like her, and watched them and smiled to myself. Sis on the other hand, had one just plain come up missing, ...they never found her. Over the years when she'd see somewhat of a look alike, even past the lifespan, she'd wonder if it could be her for a moment, and the wound would open up all over again. I guess no closure. She spent many sleepless nights wondering where/how she was, just awful. I'm so happy for you!

Neveralone, BRAVO, glad the little fellow was found.... and now he has a new playmate :)