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As you may know, Mom has had Parkinson's for 22 years and is showing signs of dementia. She is in a wheelchair and needs 24/7 care; she cannot walk, drive, cook, be in charge of her medications (she talked us into having her as needed next to her bed about a year ago and she was taking way too many Ativan) , etc. We have caregivers in place so I can work, and while they will take her out one day a week, she wants and needs more mental stimulation. All she does all day is move things from one place to another and watching TV. The caregivers we have are wonderful, but they cannot give Mom what she needs other than the basics.

We have talked to her about going to the Senior Citizens Center and she has said no but we are going to ask again. She wants to have a book club at her house once a week, but I don't know of anyone who would come. We live in a very small town and the closest large city is 50 miles away.

I have contemplated trying to find someone to come in during the day, 1 or 2 times a week to just visit with her. I wish the ladies from the church would do that, and while they ask me "What can I do" and I tell them "just go and see Mom" they don't. I have also thought that a nursing home would be a place that she could get stimulation, but I am not sure how that will go over because she is used to having 1 on 1 care and worried about how quickly they would get to her in case she needs to go to the bathroom, get in bed, etc.

I take her out on the weekends shopping when I am there, but it doesn't seem like enough.

She doesn't qualify for Assisted Living and we don't have senior living apartments around here. The only place for her would be a nursing home.

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It doesn’t matter the age or health of your mom, she deserves to have a good day and be happy! Since you already have caregivers in place, you should research a companion program through the caregiver company. Already Home Care offers companion programs that not only have the caregivers visit with her, but they can match her to mature adults that share similar interests and experiences. This would help! You should search for a similar program in your area. This way, you can have a true friend come visit her and spend time with her when you are gone or the church ladies simply do not want to. There is another lady out there right now looking for a friend, too!
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My mom was housebound for 15 years due to vision loss. Because she lived in a rural area there was no public transport and her main outlet was the telephone, but she insisted she was fine and adamantly refused to even consider the adult daycare that was available. She said she couldn't see the people, wouldn't be able to participate in the games etc, that most of the people there had Alzheimer's and that she wouldn't feel like she belonged. I wish now that we would have at least checked out that option for her as I think having a social outlet would have been good for her, and we rejected it based on hearsay and preconceive ideas rather than gathering the facts. Insist your mom at least try the senior's centre, have one of her caregivers accompany her the first few times until she gets settled in.
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I think at that age and with health problems the joy of living is a thing of the past. I believe contentment and peace take over as the main need. My 83 year old mom with dementia doesn't want to do anything and if I try to just take her out to lunch, it's too much stimulation. She wants to go back to the assisted living place and watch TV. I have no real answer.
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