How can I help my Mom (86) deal emotionally with the loss of my Dad 3 years ago?

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Physically, she is doing very well. Her emotional state is getting worse, she cries a lot and is super negative about everything. She is proactive in keeping herself healthy and safe and recently got a medical alert system. I go to the doctor with her so I know what is going on. I think part of the problem is that she is now living alone and relied only on my father for companionship. She does have a cat that she worries about constantly. She doesn't have a lot of friends, mostly neighbors (she joined the local senior center but has never gone to any of their functions). She has tried to go to different grief counseling groups but says it's not for her. I do live part-time in MX in the winter and spend the summers with her, but not in her house. My other sisters visit but are dealing with their elderly in-laws. I am a widow myself now for five years but am 63 years old and feel that's why I am able cope with my loss easier. I was married for 24 years but my parents were married for 65 years.
We are very close and discuss a lot of different things including aging. I just wish she would quit watching the news, because she just gets upset.
She was quite interested in senior living earlier this year, we looked at apartments, got informaiton and even got a realtor, but just now did an about face and said no. She feels like she won't fit in anywhere.
I am just frustrated.

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Sorry for the loss of your dad. Am kind of in a similar situation as we lost my mother just a little over a year ago and am still taking care of my dad. They were married for almost 60 years.

He has a little dementia or Alzheimer's, is on a walker and still tries to drive. Poor guy watches a lot of TV and several repairs to the house keep coming up. Sometimes I wonder and have talked to him about how he would feel about assisted living or a retirement village, but he didn't go for the idea.

Can understand if you worry about your mom being lonely or not having the opportunity to be around other people her own age she would have more in common with. I sure don't mind living with and helping him, but still don't want him to be lonely or miserable as it doesn't seem fair. Wish he would at least get an ipad or something to keep him busy other than TV sometimes.

Really home things work out for you and your mother. Take care.
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Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist? Sometime this kind of unresolved grief needs some antidepressants to help resolve. Aldo, the obsessing about the news and the cat sound like the start of a pattern of poor mental health that needs to be nipped in the bud.
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The best thing to do is to keep your Mom busy, but I know that can be difficult if someone doesn't want to socialize with others, or doesn't move to a retirement community where one can make new friends. If my parents were in this one community, they could be playing bridge couple times a week, something they both enjoyed when much younger. No, they rather sit home and complain they are so bored.

I know I want to move to a retirement community because having friends around you is the best medicine. Many of these communities accept pets. And those of us who are use to the Internet can keep ourselves interested with different website forums.
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