Dad is 88, has moderate Alzheimer’s and now a permanent urinary catheter. He lived with me/my family four years. We managed with help of various agencies and volunteers (we live hours way from any family.) Then prostate cancer led to urinary retention and catheter. After 2 wks in hospital and 6 wks in rehab care, Dad’s round-the-clock supervision/care needs were such that I was advised NOT to bring him home. So I found a good memory care AL where he has been for several months. He’s doing well there, though he takes catheter apart almost every night! I adore my dad – it pains me not to have him home – but I need to sleep!
Assisted living is private pay – NO Medicare/Medicaid funding - and funds are quickly running out. I found a state subsidy program that can help to pay for this special needs memory care AL, but he needs to have been in AL care for 12 months before he would be eligible. He has enough funds to get through 8 mos, maybe 10 when Veterans A&A comes through. If I can’t come up with the funds – he’ll have to be moved to a skilled nursing facility that Medicaid will cover. But Dad’s still in overall good health – he’s very mobile, social, likeable, can independently perform most ADLs with prompting – he likely has many more years. It would be a shame to spend those years in a skilled nursing home, when he could do well in AL.
Dad was an intended beneficiary of his mother’s trust (grandma lived to age 96!) A legal squabble between his brother (executor of grandma’s estate) and the executor of their deceased sister’s estate – resulted in almost all the estate assets going to pay legal and accounting fees – leaving Dad with less than five thousand $$ from the trust. Dad’s share of the ‘lost’ funds would have been enough to pay for another six months of care. I am told that legally there is nothing I can do; no sense spending more (of my own) money to go after funds that aren’t there. I am beside myself!!! For want of funds to pay for two months of care (about $20, 000) – dad will spend many years in SNF, instead of a higher quality of life in AL. Thoughts? Suggestions?
PS: Ah, yes, I’ve reached out to family – sharing the dilemma and my dismay over the outcome of the legal proceedings – asking for help/advice. My speaking up has set off a firestorm of bad feelings and accusations! I feel so alone and abandoned - and like this is tearing the entire family part.
Since the purpose of the subsidy program is to keep people out of SNF and off Medicaid, one of the eligibility criteria is that the applicant NOT be on Medicaid. Since Dad receives all care at VA - he doesn't need Medicaid except for LTC. So if he were destitute now - and applied for Medicaid - he would not be eligible for the AL subsidy. And the AL is not approved for Medicai
And taking him home and then back would be confusing for a person with dementia
You wouldn't be having this dilemma if dad were destitute and the program must have many folks who are in THAT situation.
Working on it. Right now there is turnover of administration at facility - so waiting on the new director.
Might it be worth seeing what you can negotiate with the ALF, whether you can't come to some sort of understanding with them? Your target is in effect a 16.5% discount for your father, so focus on five good reasons why the ALF might want to agree to that.
Such as, um... he is a popular and valued resident. He is a predictable income source, having a good prognosis and certain funding for the time being. He will be eligible for support from reputable sources. In short - he's a good risk!
You say the program he would then be eligible for would "help" to pay for the specialist care: where's the rest going to come from?
I should forget the family for these purposes. None of them has a duty of care to your father, and their track record doesn't suggest they're any great shakes when it comes to practical solutions either (what sort of advice were you hoping for???). Let the dust settle, then go back to social communication only.
Apart from your uncle and your aunt's executor, who else does the family comprise?
The remainder of the monthly funds would come from his SS and A&A.
And I will probably have to contribute too, depending on how much A&A.
Yes - I plan to appeal to the fact that he is a well-liked resident... and the fact that I'm very involved in supporting the activities department.
THX