How can I help my husband's family start to deal with the aging/care-giving, estate planning issues that are inevitably going to arise?

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The family tends to avoid conflict, doesn't communicate, is somewhat chaotic and I dread the ensuing fall-out when the parents die. Damage control ideas would be most appreciated.

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Do you and your husband have estate planning papers in order? If not, I'd casually say to his parents that you plan to get this in place because otherwise there would be chaos if one or both of you died. People can die in accidents at any age.
This may be a way to get his parents thinking about it. It's possible they may ask who you are seeing and maybe want your help. There is no guarantee this approach will work but it often opens the conversation in a non-confrontational manner. Good luck,
Carol
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