The way i understand it, it is different in every state, and it all comes down to: If we are the child, we do all the cleaning; All the care of our parent, including baths...cleaning up after accidents in bed...laundry...cooking every meal...running errands...taking our loved one to get hair cuts and to the dr's appt...being available 24/7...putting up with our siblings and other family members who want to tell us 'how to do it' and their cussing us out and not visiting and trying to keep our loved one happy and positive even though their other kids aren't coming around to see them. Keep all the receipts so that if we are tired and just want to go out to eat, we have proof that we didn't use Their money on US. I take it all with a grain of salt now, trying to keep track of the receipts. I feel guilty that when i take 5 1/2 hrs off once a wk, that i'm using my Mom's money to pay for that care. Stay positive and just know that when the time comes, we might not have anything monetary, BUT, we were able to give our best to our loved one, which is what my Mother always did for me and my siblings.
Nursing home paid through Medicaid if he qualifies. Medicare will pay up to 100 days but only under certain circumstances. Hire help if you're dad has ss benefits or some other source of income to pay for it. There are volunteers in some areas who might come in and help sometimes. Look for information in your area on senior groups, senior activities.
There is help in each state, but when do you get time to ask for the help? It's very hard. I feel your pain. I am so new to this and I am very resentful, even though I shouldn't be. My home health aides have given me some good resources, also your church or there should be an area center for aging. I too feel guilty if I am away just doing something for myself. I did that yesterday and when I had to go home, I just broke down in tears. Hang in there and hugs to you.
Walter, I assume your father takes anti-seizure meds but still has seizures? Have you ever had any medical training on how to handle them? If not, you might want to call various hospitals to see if they offer free courses. In our area, there are hospials that do have community education programs which teach people how to perform CPR and other life-saving procedurs which require knowledge and training but not medical certification.
Or ask the doctor who prescribed the anti-seizure meds.
As to the falls, has an occupational therapist explained ways to make your father's house more safe? There are a number of things you can do, if you haven't already done them.
Ask your father's physician (internist, PCP, gerontologist, or orthopaedist) about home care including a visiting nurse, physical and/or occupational therapist, aide and a social worker. The SW can also recommend resources in your area to offer help as well.
PT will help with balance and stability to help counter the effect of falls (except those which are seizure induced).
Inquire about Meals on Wheels; it will relieve you of some of the cooking chores.
contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services, they will be able to give you info on available services that would assist your father in his home. There are several programs that would provide services to maintain him at home. Have you spoken to his physician about his falls? Does he use a cane or walker, if not maybe he needs to- a broken hip can be devastating.
Your local Area Agency on Aging could provide services through the Waiver program if he qualifies. Medicaid is tricky. Yes, it will pay for a nursing home stay, if he qualifies, but there is also MERP to be conscious of. MERP is Medicaid Estate Recovery Program and it means the state will want the money back they paid in for his stay at the nursing home. Medicare only pays for NH stay if your Dad was hospitalized for at least three days and shows a "skilled need"-meaning physical therapy. Also, note that Medicare pays for 100 days but only the first 20 are covered 100%, the remaining 80 days are only paid 20% and your Dad will be responsible for the co-pay. If you don't want your Dad put in a NH, I would suggest calling your aging office and have him evaluated for services.
Stay positive and just know that when the time comes, we might not have anything monetary, BUT, we were able to give our best to our loved one, which is what my Mother always did for me and my siblings.
Or ask the doctor who prescribed the anti-seizure meds.
As to the falls, has an occupational therapist explained ways to make your father's house more safe? There are a number of things you can do, if you haven't already done them.
Ask your father's physician (internist, PCP, gerontologist, or orthopaedist) about home care including a visiting nurse, physical and/or occupational therapist, aide and a social worker. The SW can also recommend resources in your area to offer help as well.
PT will help with balance and stability to help counter the effect of falls (except those which are seizure induced).
Inquire about Meals on Wheels; it will relieve you of some of the cooking chores.