My mother-in-law is very depressed. How can I help her?


She is constantly going to doctors and either having me take her to the emergency room or calling 911. Basically, she is pretty healthy, but she has convinced herself that she is too weak to do anything and I am waiting on her hand and foot. I make all her meals and I feel like she is manipulating the situation to get sympathy. The doctors can't find anything really wrong with her, besides the high blood pressure that she gets when she gets super stressed out. They want her to walk and get out of the house, but she says she is too weak. Today, my husband and I went to exchange a pair of work boots before he went to work and when we got home she said, "I just want to get my taxes done and go home to Alabama and die!" I need to get back in the workforce, but I am trapped at home taking care of someone who is not sick! I am going nuts!

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Get her in to see a geriatric psychiatrist as soon as possible. Get her on antidepressant and anti anxity meds. And let her go home to Alabama.
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So your MIL wants to die but not before she files her taxes.

Where's your husband while you are catering to his mother all day everyday? I expect that he picks up the slack for you when he comes home to give you a break? He takes over the caregiving? No? Then if she's healthy enough I don't see why you can't get back into the workforce. Depression is an illness that can be treated with medication and therapy but it usually isn't an illness that requires around the clock care.

If she wants to go back to Alabama, let her.
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This lady needs to be evaluated by mental health professionals.

Type up a document, and chronologically chart all the instances you know of which involve a hint of depression, mental illness, chemical imbalances, etc.
Hand it to the MD. Or mail it in .... probably a better idea.

Not sure how to get her into the MD. YOUR HUBBY?

MD makes the referral to mental health.

If she's mentioned that she wants to die, I am not sure, but there should be a hotline where you call and get help on the phone. (Depending on your State).

Any suicidal inferences are important.

Inform MIL that if she's suffering to this extent, you can get help.

Where's your hubby on this equation?

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She has told me that she has always been a worrier and I suspect she has suffered from depression in the past. Her older son died in May 2010 from eating raw oysters and her husband just passed away in June of last year. I stayed with her from January to April of last year when her husband was in the hospital. My husband and I live in South Carolina and her home is in Alabama. Then she had minor surgery in October and I went back and stayed with her and she was supposedly allergic to the anesthesia and it put her into panic attacks. I managed to get her and her evil dog in the car the week before Christmas and got her here in South Carolina, but it has just been a continuation of the same thing. She refuses to do anything for herself and if I say anything to my husband, he thinks I am being a b*tch.
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Hi! Jan, is she being treated for depression? Has she had it in the past?
More info about MIL = MOTHER IN LAW, will be very helpful,

Hugs, M88
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