A month ago my Dad put my Mom in a memory care facility because he found caring for her while recovering from his own illness too much. Three days later she suffered a mild stroke which left her left side weak. She is walking again with her walker a bit, but needs assistance to get up and down, to the bathroom etc.
She has no short term memory (didn't before the stroke either) and was already having difficulty with self dressing, shower issues etc. before this. She no longer remembers a lot of their 63 years of marriage together either. She does always know family members but sometimes think we kids are her siblings. DAd though she always knows.
He lives next door in a Retirement apt. and visits twice daily. He feels very bad when she says she wants to go home. He knows he hasn't the strength to care for her but is not happy leaving her there. I do feel he overestimates her abilities with regard to her memory issues. He sees her functioning at a higher level than the other residents and able to carry on a conversation. Yes, sometimes she can carry on a bit of conversation but she won't remember it nor the person she had it with. I doubt she'll ever learn to recognize the caregivers who care for her daily.
How do I help Dad accept the change in living arrangements? They are both in their 90's. I don't live in town so can only come about once a month for a couple of days at a time.