First of all, here is background information on my Dad's living situation. About 5 years ago, both of my parents' health declined to the point that they needed caregiver assistance to remain living at home. We started out with a part-time caregiver and by last year, it was necessary to have a caregiver (paid and family) at the house 24/7. Mom and Dad did not want to move to a facility so we did everything we could to make their home safe and secure. They seemed content all in all.
Mom passed away on October 31st, 2012, in her own bed with the help of hospice. Since that time, Dad's mental health has deteriorated and his Dr admitted him to the hospital with the diagnosis of "failure to thrive" in February or March. He was transferred to rehab for a 6 week stay and seemed to be happier and more active. He agreed to move to an assisted living facility on a trial basis. The trial period is up mid-May and he now wants to go home.
My sister is POA and said he cannot go home. I don't yet know why not except that it might be against Dr's orders. I will find out more tomorrow when I visit Dad during his counseling appointment at the facility. Since that seems to be the case, I am wondering what I can do to make it easier for my father to accept the permanent nature of the situation. Whenever I have gone to visit him the past couple months, he keeps asking when he will be able to go home and I think he may find comfort being at home surrounded by my Mom's things.
Has anyone here arranged to have their parent or parents live in assisted living part-time and home part-time? Or, do you think it would be ok to pick Dad up and bring him back to the house sometimes? I wonder if that would be too stressful for Dad to go home and then have to leave again. It just seems so cold to say you never get to see your home that you lived in for 40 years again. I don't know how I would cope if that happened to me.
For what it's worth, it is a very nice facility where he has his own "apartment" that includes a bedroom, bathroom, living area and kitchenette. Besides talking about going home all the time, Dad talks about Mom every time I see him and I hate to see him in such emotional pain.
One more thing, I read somewhere that the average life span for someone that goes into a facility is 18 months. Has anyone else read that? It's definitely cause for concern because I am hoping to have many more years with my Dad.
Thank you for reading my long post. It has been therapeutic to write all this out --it is weighing heavy on my heart and mind. Looking forward to reading what my fellow caregivers have to say :)