Follow
Share

Need more advice about paying for funeral expenses. My mom passed away yesterday. She had pre-paid most of her burial costs, but between the funeral home handling her cremation and the cost of her marker/granite slab, the "overage" was $6,000. The marker/slab alone was $4200 and I had to get it on payments, $300+ a month, more than my car payment. It's all on us. She was in a nursing home on Medicaid. She has no assets, insurance or anything else. We are on Social Security and have expenses of our own that we can barely afford. We live in Ohio. Is there any help available out there?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I was able to speak with the funeral director and get the number of someone he works with whom he believes can get me a simple marker for much less than $4200. I spoke with the cemetery and cancelled the marker they were providing. Obviously, when my mom signed up for the prepay funeral expenses, no one told her that there would be extra expenses and it wouldn't be "all-inclusive". At this point I'm wondering just WHAT she "prepaid".
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Pam, above, is right how emotions can take over. Since the funeral probably hasn't taken place yet, and depending on when the funeral will be, maybe you have time to cut back on some of the items.

The sign-in register is a nice book but expensive. Maybe one could be found to be used less costly. When my Dad passed, the funeral home suggested I use the same book my Mom had when she passed. There were extra blank pages.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'm sorry about the loss of your mom

If you can an urn with her ashes and a memorial service is a great idea. It's a touching way to honor and remember you mom. You can have the memorial whenever you and your family are up to it. You should be able to do all of this for $2000. See if it's not to late to make a change. It should not be an issue at all for a very good funeral home/
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mother was on Medicaid and had no assets, but she had prepaid funeral expenses. We (her 7 kids) sat down with the funeral home director and went over what could be purchased for the amount of money she had set aside. We had a lovely memorial service with flowers and live plants (which we gave to the nursing home after the ceremony). There was an obituary (expensive in a metro area) and printed programs. Each of the 7 of us chose a small urn for ashes, and one son agreed to scatter the remaining ashes in a meaningful way. The entire event, including the cremation fees, cost less than $5,000.

How on earth could your "overage" be $6,000? I think the solution is to cut back to what can be purchased with the money your mother set aside.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hugemom, so sorry for your very recent loss.

Any chance your Mom's aches could be placed in a small drawer vault at the cemetery? If there is a burial plot, ask if it could be converted to a small drawer vault just for ashes. That way on the door of the vault a small plaque would be just as nice as a large headstone.

What the cemetery will do is buy back the burial plot, and then with that money you purchase a small drawer vault. With the money left over, then the cemetery can recommend a place that does the plaques.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Who is the marker for? I mean who is going to get benefit or get pleasure from it? Since you can't afford it, why did you agree to buy it? I am so confused. Your dear mother was cremated. Are the ashes being buried?

People who set aside enough money for their own funerals, and/or wealthy people who can well afford it can have ceremonies and monuments as elaborate as they want. The rest of us should be realistic about what they can afford.

My condolences on your mother's death. I am so sorry you are in this stressful financial situation as well.

I hope you can reconsider your buying decisions. Would your mother really want you to take on a $300/month commitment to pay for her marker?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You obviously let your emotions get ahead of common sense. Nobody does the wake/procession/graveside service any more because it is horrendously expensive. And markers start around $200 for a slab or $400 for a simple upright. Plan ahead next time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Is this all a done deal? Do you have to have a marker that costs $4200? This stuff is so overpriced. Can you go with something more simple?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

There is no federal help. Sometimes I have heard of adult child getting $255 social security death benefit, but not always. You could ask social security if you qualify. Ask the funeral home if your township, city, county has any programs. Some do, but it has to be applied for by funeral home on behalf of deceased and family. The state of Ohio used to have a program that offered some assistance less than $1000 but it was cut in budget restructures. Maybe a go fund me page if she or you have folks that might contribute. I'm sorry you put yourself in this painful financial position but there just is not help in the thousands of dollars for markers in most state or federal budgets.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.