My daughter is seriously ill in another state, I desperately need to be there. Is there help available for mom? No family support.

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I am the primary caregiver of my mother, she attends an Adult Daycare Center 3 times a wk and I have a home help aide 3-4 hrs five days a wk. My daughter has been diagnosed with Chronic Thromboebellonic Pulmonary Hypertension which requires she have a very serious surgery. She lives in TX, is not married and I live in Illinois. I feel I would need to be with her for at least 3 months. What do I do with Mom? She needs full-care. Are there temporary group care homes?

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There are 2 ways to handle this;
1. Find a facility with respite care for mom in Illinois
or
2. Take mom with you to Texas and place mom in respite care in Texas near you. There are many new facilities in Texas. I would suggest looking into these two companies;
Sunrise Senior Living
Silverado Senior Living

Both of these have Assisted Living and Memory Care (depending on which your mom needs.) Both are luxurious and have great food, great facilities in Texas and more importantly, respite rooms are often available at both levels of care.

If your bring your mom to Texas, you can look in on your mom, know she is getting great care, while being there for your daughter. It's the best of both worlds - you can be there for your daughter without feeling torn and rushed to get back to Illinois because of your mom.

In your position, since mom goes to daycare, I would probably go ahead and bring her down to Texas and place her in respite in Texas. Need extra money for this? If you normally live with your mom and no one else you could rent your house in Illinois while you are gone as a vacation rental if it is in nice shape.
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You might look into Assisted Living, but on short notice you may not get the facility you want. Your daughter is in good hands, and if she can't be alone, her MD can send her to rehab, and order visiting nurses for her. That might be the best option for now. "Chronic" means this is not a sudden change, but something she has had for months or years. Surgery would clear the clots if possible, but the rehab is best left to a professional setting such as nursing home with RN's 24/7 and highly specialized MD's
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Ah, where is a cloning machine when we need one? You need to be in two places at once!

Does your mom have any kind of caseworker who could help you find a temporary placement for her? Maybe she could even continue the daycare program, to help establish some continuity until you get back.

I'd start with the caseworker, if there is one in the picture. You could also call your area's agency on aging for options to explore.

I am so sorry you are in this situation, and I wish you luck in working out a solution.
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