Hello new friends. What is my mom's Nursing Home is allowed to request?

"I finally revoked my POA b/c they send unrealistic demands (asking for a multitude of documents today, due tomorrow). "

"They've already stated she needs a conservator "

Who is "they"  - nursing home staff?  

And Worried is right; only your mother as creator of a POA document can make changes.   You're still her proxy.

Did you revolk your POA thru a lawyer? Or just tell the NH you weren't doing it anymore? Sign something with them? The only option I see is the State eventually taking over Moms care if you can't do it.

I handled all Moms stuff when it came to placing her in LTC. She had enough in her bank account to private pay 2 months. That gave me time to apply for Medicaid. I sat with a caseworker and he took me thru the process and gave me a list of info he needed to complete the application.

I will assume here that the Nursing home is applying for Medicaid. Medicaid asks for a lot of paperwork. The main thing 5 years of Bank Statements. Then any assets Mom has need to be cashed in. Life insurance policies with cash in value need to be cashed in. I was selling Moms house so they wanted proof of that. I took the insurance cash in and prepaid Moms funeral. Needed to prove that. Before Medicaid kicked in, I had to prove her bank account was under the 2k allowed. I allowed the NH to become payee for SS and her pension. The home does not have the authority to get this info. You needed to do it.

Your Mom is cognitive enough to write checks? Call her bank and ask that you be removed from her account. Mom may have to call and request that u be removed too. Once they confirmed you are off the account, order new checks and have them sent to Mom.

I truly understand what goes into being a POA. I was my Moms and now my nephews. But you have left Mom high and dry. If she is having problems handling her finances, you have left her to the mercy of strangers. I may call her County's Office of Aging and see if they know how to go about getting her a Conservator. Or, even the County Clerks office because it involves a Court hearing. I know this may sound like a guilt trip. I don't mean it to be but just be aware, a stranger will be handling your Moms financial decisions. Eventually someone is going to be needed to make her health decisions too. You will no longer have any imput in her care. Its OK if thats how you want it. It all gets overwhelming and we all don't have the best relationships with their parents. Just want you to make the best decision for you.

You have given up guardianship, as I understand it. Now the State is the guardian. That means you have ZERO to say about anything, including her placement. She will have a fiduciary appointed to handle all of her assets and all of her bills and her placement. I can well see why you did it because you were in an impossible position, especially given you aren't in the same state. Hopefully you will have a good relationship with the Fiduciary when he/she is appointed and can work together.
As to the checkbook, yes, it should be easy to have your name removed. If you have any money in that account, you should not really have melded that money with your Moms so I hope you did not. I am not certain you can at this point withdraw any money out of that account and would consult the bank but you can take your name off of that account and then have them print new checks and send to the Fiduciary. I would watch who you send things to. It should be the new guardian, not just anyone from nursing home to anywhere else.
I sure wish you good luck and hope you'll update us.
Have you yet been contacted by any newly appointed Fiduciary? You need a copy of their documents OR you can supply then with the bank account information and let them do their work on their own. Don't communicate further with anyone about finances and etc and inform anyone calling that your Mom is under "Guardianship of the State now" and that you are no longer her Guardian or her POA and cannot act in any way.

If you resigned as PoA then someone has to be making her decisions and managing her affairs for her, and it sounds like the NH may now legally be in that role. So, yes, they will need certain things in order to be her representative. In regards to the checking account being joint, I'm not sure what will happen as once they have guardianship there will be no transparency into her medical or financial affairs for you any more. I would talk to an elder law attorney experienced with guardianship issues since this NH sounds somewhat incompetent and you don't want to give them things they ought to not have if your name is also on it. FYI if your mom had humble financial means they will probably apply for Medicaid for her. If she qualifies and owns a house, they will put a lien on it so that when she passes, Medicaid can be compensated for its expenditures on her behalf. Again, talk to an attorney so you know what to expect.

Simplify. You are angry. Happens to all of us at some point or another.

Fact is, we’re all treated pretty much the same. Your situation is very similar to mine.

I have wanted to revoke my POA a few times, but didn’t.

Fact is, the nursing home wants to be paid, and to have the legal right to treat your mom or not to treat her.

If I were receiving “accusatory and guilt full” communications, or passionate love notes, or anything in between, I’d be “feeling” the same way about them, I’d approach them one at a time, do what I could do for as many of them as I could, and then I’d forget them.

If I had questions about legal stuff, I’d find an elder care and/or family care specialist, take that lawyer a list of your questions, write his fee against your mother’s account, and do what is the legal minimum to take care of your mother.

You don’t get any extra credit for suffering with this stuff.

I am responsible for my LO’S bills, and since I love her as well, I take care of anything I can to make her as comfortable and happy as possible, not much since
she too has suffered 2 Covid infections and CDiff in the last ten or so months.

Since you’ve resigned your power of attorney, it would seem to me that you have even less, perhaps NOTHING, to do on your mother’s behalf.

SO- LAWYER UP.

How did you expect the nursing home was to be paid? It will take every cent of her money and when that is gone there will need to be an examination of her financial over previous years when medicaid is applied for. Be careful shifting any funds that have joint ownership, this could be construed as hiding assets meaning she won't qualify.