How can I fake grieving when I have no grief?

LOL! no worries Judy. you have a lot going on. i just went to funnier's profile and checked her activity. i don't know how or why she hasn't checked into the funny farm farm yet; i certainly would have by now. she needs our prayers for sure!!!

Really hope she keeps us up to date. I have a sneaking suspicion though that this woman has not come back home. Hope it does not turn into an unsolved mystery for us. Hugs!

the MIL is in a nursing home, see this new thread that funnierthanme started:

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/mom-settled-in-nursing-home-152361.htm

Mil is back home again now Check out this thread with the latest

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/have-someone-say-I-know-what-you-mean-about-caregiving-152300.htm?cpage=10

when you click on someone's name it brings you to their profile. there are two tabs, wall posts & activity. if you click on activity you will see all of their posts. clock on the post and you can follow along.

Judging from the above, it's still hard to tell if she is in fact still in the nursing home or back home! I hope it is NH for her sake.

Punch -the most recent post - less than an hour ago - is that mil is back home https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/have-someone-say-I-know-what-you-mean-about-caregiving-152300.htm?cpage=10
check it out it is quite funny -husband got a view of reality... and more ;p

Thanks emjo, you're a peach. I read it and responded to Funnier. That was quite a turn of events, alright!! xo

My MIL (90 w/dementia/bedfast) and my mother (90 w/bipolar) both live in my small house with me. If one or both die before I do...................it will be hard to hide the fact that I won't be grieving. My big wish at this time is that I outlive them so that I can gain some privacy back. I am a widow and some people think it's so nice that I have these 2 elders to keep me company! NOT SO!!

My sweet golden retriever "Honeybun" died yesterday. I wanted some time to "process it all." Time for me to feel the loss of my wonderful dog. I couldn't share the event with either of the 90 yr olds because .................well it just makes me tired thinking about dealing with their crazy comments.
When my MIL and mom are gone...................I will be beyond happy and relieved. It's a long shot anyway. I've got to wait for both of them before I get my house and my life back.
I expected my husband and I to be enjoying our 60's together...................didn't work out that way. I miss Bill in every corner........and now I'm missing my dog too.

Marialake, you don't have to fake grief when they die. Considering their ages, you can simply reply to anyone who asks how you're doing that you know that life comes to an end. They lived a long time and now they are at peace. Please don't blame yourself for what you're feeling.

A bigger issue seems to be - couldn't they qualify for a nursing home? What do you have to have your life taken up in this way? You've lost so much and you deserve your own life. You could still visit and they would have some interaction with others. I'd look into it.
Take care of yourself - that is the most important thing here.
Carol

My hairdresser has this theory that they drive us so nuts at the end so we won't greive so hard. Maybe there's something to that? The other thing is a saying my husband told me just the other day: "Be good to your children - they'll be picking out your nursing home".
Lastly I'll use one more saying as my two cents "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". As others have said remain dignified and stick to the "she's no longer suffering".

Thanks Carol. Losing my dog has stirred up lots of grief - loss of my dear husband Bill - five years ago.......... and now a different kind of loss with Honeybun. Reflecting on these fresh "grief emotions" caused me to consider the topic at hand - grieving the elders in my home.
Most days I do okay but today I'm fragile.

I've been kind of waiting to see "which shoe will fall" but nothing is happening.
Perhaps a nursing home will be in the near future.

Oops. Didn't see the posts regarding what a jackass your hubby has been. Strike my comment about being sensitive to his feelings!

???