My husband has been partial care giving for his dad (he is in his mid-80's). Diabetic, eats candy, ice cream, pies, etc. Wants the miracle pill that will make him 16 again, hateful, deaf (refuses to get a hearing aid that would help the deafness), picky eater (wants pigs feet, biscuits with lots of gravy, no left overs -- this includes freshly just made sandwiches that have been made with "left over" ingredients such as ham, cheese, etc.)
His health has been declining and my husband has been making 3-4 trips to his house a day, fixing meals (some get one or two bites with a "I can't eat this sh** or thrown across the room). My hubby has been getting up earlier before work, driving to his house and keeping a horrible schedule.
In these last few months, he has had an increase in his sugar levels from diabetes, gained weight, tired from lack of sleep and his blood pressure was through the roof (e.g. 222/124).
Two weeks ago, my father in law went to the hospital. His blood sugar levels are better than my husbands (before going in) and they have taken him off a lot of the unnecessary meds he was on. He is scheduled to go to a nursing home for rehab.
In that time, my husband has been happier, blood pressure slowly impoving, he is losing weight and getting more sleep. My blood pressure has been going down too.
He has said that he is not going several times a day to the nursing home, in fact he is not even going to go every day. He said any man in his 80's that the doctors have stabalized and in many ways is doing better than we are does not need him constantly.
Has anyone else had their health suffer due to care giving? Did it improve when your family member passed or went to a nursing home? We have learned it is just not worth it.