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I work (no pay) for my mother 24/7. When I moved in a decade ago it was mutually beneficial. Now that she is 87 it is a different story. I try to lovingly support her, get her to doctor's appointments, fix her meals monitor medications, etc. the older she gets, the more demanding and eccentric she gets. I have no life. I have two sisters and a brother in town. If Mom and I have any argument she immediately calls them and exaggerates beyond belief. One time she told them she was afraid for her life! She also tells them that I sponge off of her which is completely not true. I pay a lot of the household bills. Financially she could not make it without me. My younger sister believes nothing because she knows what is really going on. My older sister and brother believe everything and treat me with disdain. The only time she ever talks to them is to talk about me. I now feel uncomfortable attending family events because they make derogatory remarks towards me. They will not, however, help her with any of her needs...nor do they stop by and spend time with her or even call. Do I even worry about this? I already feel so alone- now this.

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Yes yes...before the current situation ( she lives alone, but not for long) one sib stayed away claiming she is reaping what she sowed because she has always been selfish and narcissistic...the oldest sib has lived with her and she raised his kids (look at me I'm the best grandma in the world, now hold my cross) while he did nothing for her rarely paid any rent and it goes on and on...then me...I would take her to appointments, help her around the house, my kids and hubby would cut her grass, clean gutter and any thing else she wanted or needed...I've loaned her thousands of dollars...even bought some of her jewelry so it would stay in the family only to have her sell it  anyway...she treats my kids differently that the other grandkids, favoring the other two and claims I don't do anything...it grates me to no end...and I'm always the bad guy...sigh...you are not alone...(((hugs)))
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Sounds familiar to my family. I am now realizing they are narcissistic. This has opened my eyes as to how most of my life has been dealing with them. A book that I often recommend “Will I Ever Be Good Enough” by Dr. Karyl McBride. Best wishes (((hugs)))
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Yes - this has happened in my family. My mother has always been a bully and treated my 5 siblings and I like servants, but more so my younger brother and I. My brother works full time, lives with her and helps pay her bills, maintains the home and yard, and has to deal with her horrible verbal abuse and nonstop demands. It breaks my heart for him. I gave him respite and assisted with doctor's appointments on a regular basis and every other weekend ran errands, took her to lunch, shopping, etc. She treats us like dirt, and slants her stories, falsely accuses, and distorts the truth.
No matter how hard we try and how much we do, it is never enough and never appreciated. Yes she has dementia but is able to fool her doctors and continues living at home. We cannot force her into assisted living. Yes, she lies to the older siblings and creates friction between us. I have removed myself from the drama and though it is more peaceful, I suffer terrible guilt because I know my baby brother is being abused and needs help. It is gut wrenching to say the least. Prayers for Peace.
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