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As you can see by my rhetorical question...it has only been 2 weeks this Thursday since my husband's momma moved in with us. This has been a huge adjustment and we will continue to adjust for a while. My husband and I are new to this full time caregiving...learning as we go. The transition was pretty smooth, she (MIL) loves being with us way more than the horrid nursing home. My husband and I, like many of you, are sandwiched in between still having school aged children and an ailing parent. That has been the hardest. My MIL needs 24/7, my husband works swing shifts and all 4 children are still at home. Our emotions swing like a pendulum. I thought I knew what sacrifice was, I didn't but I do now. Like I said, we are in the early stages which means we have OT, PT and a RN that comes on a regular. The one thing we really need is an aide to start coming in before my job starts back up in August. The company says they need to hire one??? I want to make sure my MIL likes him/her, we like him/her and trust that person in our home. My husband and I have a lot to learn so if you have any suggestions, I am open to them. I really enjoy reading and learning from your post! I love how real, open and honest you are with your lives. Thank you! I'm understanding that what my husband and I are going through emotionally is normal. Hard but normal.

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Yes, my kids are a huge help!! My daughter helps with bathroom breaks and my boys help entertaining. There are nights that we all play bingo and get to choose a special treat when they win. :-) Fun.

We'll have to stick to company caregivers, I'm praying we get someone with integrity.
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Very hectic and challenging.

How nice for your MIL that you were able to take her in. MUCH nicer for her to be in a home setting than a NH.

I would get the caregiver in sooner rather than later so that you can get to know them and see if you can trust them, etc. so when you are back to work, you will not have to worry tooo much.

You said hubby works swing shift. Do you work a regular 1st shift job? So he will be home sometimes when you're not and vice versa? That could help with monitoring the helpers, etc.

Good luck.
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care4MIL Jun 28, 2019
Thank you for your sweet words! I spoke with the company and as of today they got the ball rolling concerning an aide coming in. My husband does work swing shift which leaves some days open during the week that he's home. I work Mon-Fri 7-3. On some of those we won't need anyone unless mu husband is asleep from working graveyard.
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Care4MIL, sounds like it's been hectic. Transition time can be crazy. But I'm afraid that August is right around the corner and you will be going back to work. Do you have the option of finding another agency if the current one has no one at the moment? Beware, even with a caregiver in the home, once you return to work, and are juggling the kids needs, with MIL and hubby, then then the stress may really hit the fan. Please take care of yourself from the beginning so that it is 2nd nature for you to take care of YOU first....if not everything will fall apart if you are not ok. I think too many people just go all gung ho full-on caregiver role and totally lose themselves and all other pieces of their life suffer. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Reply to SofiaAmirpoor
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care4MIL Jun 28, 2019
Thank you for your words of wisdom!! I'm very worried I won't be able to balance it all.
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Care4MIL, I see from your profile that your Mom-in-law is still young being only in her early 70's and that she had a stroke. On a positive note, with the right occupational therapy and physical therapy she should improve :)

Plus with teen-age and adult children at home, they can help out if Mom-in-law needs for someone to get her something. And it is nice that your Mom-in-law loves being with you.

When my very elderly Dad needed someone to help him, I had called a nationwide caregiving agency, and he had lucked out with wonderful caregivers. Two had been with him for over a year. With an agency, the agency is licensed, bonded, insured and has workman's comp for their employees in case they get hurt on the job. Don't be afraid to "test drive" a few caregivers until you find the right fit. Fair warning, there will be sticker shock at the cost.
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care4MIL Jun 28, 2019
Yes, my kids are a huge help!! My daughter helps with bathroom breaks and my boys help entertaining. There are nights that we all play bingo and get to choose a special treat when they win. :-) Fun.

We'll have to stick to company caregivers, I'm praying we get someone with integrity.
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