What to do when someone has dementia and living alone?

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Has dementia and no drivers license.

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Oh yes. It's so important to make sure they are in the right place that can provide the right level of care. It sounds like you have done all the right things.

My loved one hasn't asked to go home since she's gone into a Secure Memory Care facility, but she did some, when she was in a regular Assisted Living Facility. I think that for some people they stop asking about going back home.

I know that when my LO was in her most recent hospital stay, she told she just wanted to go home....no matter which home it was! That was pretty insightful coming from a person with severe dementia.

My loved one never mentions her house anymore, although she will bring up an apt she lived in during the 1980's.

I've made her room as comfortable as possible, but I find she isn't that interested in lots of things. She likes certain photos of family and friends, a throw on her bed, and that's about it. Things like books, tv, etc. no longer interest her very much. It just depends on the person and where they are in their illness.
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Thanks to freqflyer, texarkana and sunflo2 for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. I appreciate it very much and will take your input to heart.
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You can build on what you've accomplished with her so far. Steel yourself as she will still fight it and cry for home...maybe you can bring or pack up and ship some favorite things from home like bedding, familiar rug, favorite chair, side table, lamp and pictures, paintings, etc and recreate that "place" in her new home so it feels homey and familiar to her. Consider asking sis to take pics of neighborhood, favorite restaurants, stores, neighbors, flowerbeds, etc that you can put in a photo album for mom to have.

I envy you. I would love my mom to come but she only wants to live with me -which is a big NO and further she only wants me to move to her town...she refuses to move to AL or anyplace and legally I can't force. It's sad as she is so lonely.
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Don't move her back no matter what she says. Half the battle is done now that you have her physically close to you. AL sounds like the right thing, and an AL near to where you live so you can check on her. Trying to take care of an elder when you live out of state can be a nightmare .Yes, she probably will get angry at you but at this point she isn't making rational decisions.
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You are correct, your Mom would be better off in the right *pond*, and it would be best to move her now so she can adjust to the layout of the facility, still have memory for meeting new people, and to settle into her new home. For her to settle in, it's my understanding from what I have read, that it can take a couple of months, so limit your visits during that time frame.... in the meantime your Mom could be asking to move back *home* which is a common request.

Sounds like you and your sister have made excellent plans for your Mom's care.... good choices :)
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Sorry, I thought I was searching for a question, not posting one!!
Here's the situation. My Mom is 82, lives in Pennsylvania. My sister lives in Baltimore, about 2 1/2 drive from her. Mom had bi-lateral knee replacement surgery on July 2, 2014. BTW, my Dad passed away in April, 2013. Mom did not do the Rehab as directed and did not do the daily exercises. Her left knee is now very limited in movement. Her drivers license was revoked in PA. So, she lives at home in a 55/over community with no transportation. She has 2 sisters and 1 brother who live close by, within 15 miles. But, one has Parkinson's Disease and is in an Assisted Living facility and the other has a husband who suffered multiple strokes. So, there is not much help there. My sister and I decided to bring her to Arizona for a "visit", with the intention of her staying with us permanently or until she needs assisted living services. Her dementia is progressing and she does not want to be here even after on a week of being here. My sister and I visited 4 memory care facilities here and it was suggested by more than one that she needs to be the correct "pond", so to speak. In other words, she will never feel safe in our home, but she will feel better if she is with people who have the same issues that she has. My sister, wife and I are trying to decide the right thing to do here. My sister goes back to Maryland tomorrow, so it is just the wife and I as caregivers. (My sister is a retired RN, so she knows how to deal with this to a point). Any thoughts?
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