Has being a caregiver tested your faith in God?

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I truly believe after my sister died suddenly of a heart attack age 49 on Aug 10 2013 and left me to care for my sweet demented mother alone has really made me wonder why God left me alone and what purpose it serves. I and my sister are RNs I mean we're I still am..I tried to do the right things by mom and thought her care would be better in a long term care and by her not being care for properly has now traumatized me and I want to quit my job at the hospital and get a home health job so I can be home earlier...I'm scared to death to place her anywhere because of the beyond substandard treatment she received in the nursing homes..so here I am alone mom may come home today if not accepted by the care facility I picked out for her..mom is pretty much bed bound because of her declining health..I'm going to try to get her hours back from Medicaid for her caregiver and sign her on to hospice...I called her case manager for Medicaid who took care of her before she was placed and left her a message about mom returning home..I feel as if God doesn't even hear my prayers that God forgot mom and I, what little family I have left do not care and don't even respond to my texts about how bad mom is being cared for...it's like I'm all alone in this world and where is God he took my sister who I loved and would help me through this...where is God? Does he hear my prayers?

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What beautiful, inspiring words from all the posters. I echo everything that has been said. One thing that jumped out at me though, was that you had not slept in days. Years ago, I copied a page from a devotional whose title read, "The best bridge between hope and despair is often a good night's sleep". We have to remember that this side of heaven, we are still flesh. Lack of sleep can deplete us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. At night (or whenever you have time to sleep), put yourself and your mother in God's care for that time. I know it is not easy.
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I’m new to this newsletter, but in viewing questions and responses, it’s clear that there are as many varieties in situations as there are people! While there are many similarities, circumstances of those being cared for as well as those being the caregiver are unique to each situation. That being said, the Scripture that states that “and we know that all things work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose” gives me great encouragement. I hope this doesn’t come across as too preachy. It’s just that i’ve been working through this for almost 10 years now.

My MIL has lived with us for 10 years. She has suffered from vascular dementia for the past 2+ years. She is 94. There are times when we are so weary, not from the work involved, because she’s actually pretty easy to care for still, but from the drudgery. She’s weak and unstable enough that she can’t be left alone. We found the expense of hiring someone to stay with her on Sunday we’ll worth it in order to have fellowship and find encouragement. It may seem like we have it easy, since my husband and I are retired and share the work, but there is a mental and emotional component to her care that becomes very trying at times due to the history of family dynamics. I have to continually place my trust in God to work out the details and trust Him with the results.

Do you have a support system in place for YOU? Are there others who can come alongside you and help brainstorm solutions? Don’t be too proud to ask for help. Most important of all, ask God what He’s trying to teach you through all of this.

Be assured, dear one, that God has not forgotten you. He loves you and cares about every single thing you’re going through. Praying for strength, peace, and wisdom for you during this time.
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I agree with Treeartist, lack of sleep can cause depression and not being able to function. You need to see your doctor and your minister for some physical and spiritual help. If you don't have a minister at this time just get yourself to someone. I was going through a terrible time and I just stopped at the first church I came to. I was able to cry and get help there even though I had never walked into the door and never returned.
As Ecclesiastes 9:11 tells us that time and chance happens to all of us. I am so sorry you lost your beloved sister, please don't blame God, when the imperfections of the flesh overwhelm us and we die, it isn't God, it is this imperfect world we live in and our own imperfect bodies. God provided the means to everlasting life through the resurrection. Please don't turn against God, these things are not his fault.
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God hears our prayers. I know he does. Life is hard and when it's hard we sometimes forget but I believe strongly in God and he does allow bad things to happen but I don't believe he causes them. When I look back on my life I know that it was during the hard, sad times that my growth and spiritual development happened. Small comfort when you are sad and bewildered by what life is handing you but important none the less.

Try to recognize the small miracles and stay strong in your faith cause when this is all over you will look back and understand. God does love you and if you don't turn your back on him (and even if you do) he will be faithful.
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Thank you so much I'm trying I just feel lost..I keep praying and hope I'm doing the right thing...I'm exhausted from the stress of all this and seeing mom suffer I haven't slept in days because of worry and stress..I just hope this nursing home accepts her if not I have to bring her home and do my best I'm just all alone in this..but I'm trying my best,,,thank you and if I could hug you I would
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Yes! Thankfully a past trying period in my life taught me that God is there even when I may not "feel" it. I depend on Him daily and submit to him all my concerns, failures, and questions. Wait on the Lord, He's worth it.
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I do pray for guidance and patience. Thankfully, my DH is not bedbound yet - but when the time comes, I will use Hospice and have already told his son that I will need help. While DH is ambulatory, I can manage.

Being the spouse means I am NOT eligible for $$ but as you're the daughter, you should be eligible for $$ for taking care of your mother. I'm sorry, I really have no idea who you need to call - start with Medicaid and keep asking questions. You might even find an answer here at AgingCare. It isn't a tremendous amount of money but I believe it is $1500+ monthly - twice my social security. I wish we spouses were eligible.

Since you're still working, I can understand your feelings of abandonment. I'm sure I would feel the same in your position. Thankfully, even with my dad, I was already "retired" so I was able to cope.

Keep praying honey, even if not the answer you hope for. And if a crazy idea pops into your head - this could be God trying to tell you what to do - follow through. I give God a problem and then come online and "low & behold" I find an answer.
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ohmeozer I know it looks dark now in Your World as You feel completely alone, with zero help from Family because They neglect to answer Your Texts, but be brave and remain strong, and Pray from Your Heart like You have never Prayed before. The Lord Hears Your Prayers and some times it does take a while but The Lord will grant Your Darling Mother and You the greatest peace. Caring for my beautiful MaMa brought me closer to God, because We Both recited The Holy Rosary together every evening, and even though Mother had alzheimer's She remembered all of Her Prayers perfectly. At the very End MaMa was granted the most beautiful peaceful and painless death. We had been talking and having great banter, and I noticed Mother place Her head upon Her pillow, close Her eyes and smile......and She was gone to Heaven. Soon after I joined the Legion of Mary in thanks giving. Persever and believe The Lord will bring You & Your Mother Peace.
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I'm glad that you asked your question....I have gone from being resentful, questioning my faith, questioning why God is punishing me, what lesson am I supposed to be learning from this. The bottom line is I hope that I will be a better person when this is over, I'm trying my best.
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I have the below hanging on me wall and gives me strength and hope in some really dark times.

"I asked for Strength ... and God gave me Difficulties to make me Strong.

I asked for Wisdom... and God gave me Problems to Solve.

I asked for Courage .... and God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love... and God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors...and God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted...
I received everything I needed...

Trust in God "
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