I don't see how this would be possible unless you are filthy rich which I'm sure isn't the case for the majority of us. I would so love to be able to once again socialize with friends, work part time, freedom to join a workshop, etc. I have asked my 94 year old mother how she would feel going to an adult day care a couple times a week but she is extremely stubborn and would rather park herself in front of TV and have me wait on her. I do have a caregiver who helps me 2 half days a week but she does not provide hands on care. I'm curious to know if anyone who is not married and cares for parent has found a way to keep herself from dying of boredom and isolation. Any ideas will help. Thank you.

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EssieMarie, were you able to go back to your previous thread about having to put a brave face on it when your brother comes over? - I just ask, because I'm not sure you saw the deluge of answers and advice and suggestions!

Meanwhile, to be blunt. You are asking your mother's permission (mistake 1) and not about her care, but about your choices (mistake 2).

Your mother needs care. It does not have to come from you.

Your mother can make choices about what happens to her. E.g. she can quite rightly choose that she would rather stay home than go to daycare. But she cannot choose for YOU, regardless of your consent. So she can stay home, but she can't insist that the care she needs at home comes from you.

Advice that many people find works for them is to remember that you are hiring a caregiver not to help your mother but to help you. The caregiver is your deputy while you go out and get that much needed break. It is FINE to do this, and you do not need your mother's permission.

Anyway - there are already so many suggestions waiting for you that I don't want to rabbit on longer. Feel better, and demand time out!
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I'm in a similar situation, not married and care for my 90 year old mom with Parkinsons. She refuses to go to daycare as well. Hiring caregivers during the week to get a break is key, I have an agency that comes in for half a day two times a week and occasionally Saturdays. But finding a hobby helps as well. I took up writing, woodworking and gardening to keep me occupied since mom sleeps most of the day. Try to get together with a friend maybe once a month.
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Caregiving needs to be an equal partnership, a two-way street, with give and take on both sides.

Someone stated this concept on this forum when I first started reading it and it really resonated with me. Right now you seem to have gotten stuck into more of a boss/servant model, and of course you're the servant.

Time to make changes!
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If Mom parks herself in front of the television and you wait on her, you are backing down and giving her exactly what she is demanding. While caregiving is life changing and there are some things we need to give up and changes we have to make, if your mother is of fairly sound mind, there isn’t much reason why you cannot have some “me” time.

Look into getting a hands-on caregiver for some time off. Explain to Mom that doing some things YOU like to do is very necessary for your own health and well-being. Explain that if you aren’t able to get this time for yourself, you cannot continue this way and you may need to find someplace for her to go. It sounds like a threat, I know. But, it may be the wake-up call Mom needs in order to realize you need to recover yourself in order to be a caregiver to her.
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