We lost my rock, my dad a year ago. I'm beyond devastated. My mom is as well. His half brother called her in Sept. After he lost his daughter. They had no contact for like 35 yrs. They started talking hours on end on phone. Mom is 72 and doesn't go anywhere unless Dr. The bro in law made her happy and he told her he loved her..etc. after some was They met and rode around talking past things. Calls started again and end of Oct she went to his house to visit 4 three days. He takes care of his x disabled sis in law. Mom has totaly fell in love with him. Yet he told her she needs to get in better health. Cut her hair, which has thinned drastic over age and stress. He told her start walking, lose weight. Get teeth fixed. And move closer to him. Etcetera. I've left a lot out. Is it possiable the she has put her feelings of love and loss into him? She cries all the time and doesn't eat much. Says food makes her sick. How only has called her a couple times since he brought her home. Says he sees her when she gets healthier and he loves and misses her. But he's suppose work with guy with cattle and wore out to call her. I'm mad and we can't understand why he's treating her like this. Her said he's 68 but he's really 70. Desperate. Need any opinions. I know he keeps the road hot so to speak. Please opinions. Ty blessings. I'm beyond worried about moma
"Yet he told her she needs to get in better health. Cut her hair, which has thinned drastic over age and stress. He told her start walking, lose weight. Get teeth fixed. And move closer to him."
"He takes care of his x disabled sis in law."
I would do as much background check I could on this man. First he gets in touch with her after Dads death. Then he "suggests" she make changes in her looks and health. Caring for an ExSIL? Are you sure she is not a SO. I can not imagine my BIL caring for me if my DH was not around, either because of divorce or death. Is the house really his or the exSILs? I would watch Moms money closely. I would make sure she doesn't sign things over to him. I think he is stringing Mom on for a reason. Maybe he thinks she has money. From your profile concerning Mom, I think she does need to concentrate or her health. She has anxiety too. He may see her as an easy mark. I am also 72. And if I lost my DH, this man would put up red flags for me. You don't tell someone you love them and then say but u need to fix this or that. Your Mom is still grieving Dad. She needs to be able to move forward before she can have a relationship with someone else.
Your mom needs to cut her losses and go find her a man that will love her just as she is.
Perhaps you may have to let your mom read the responses you get on this post. I'm hoping your mom will wise up and realize that she deserves so much better.
IF you are anxious for mom, talk to her, straightforwardly. Your post makes it sound like he DOES care for her, for her health, etc. Also, he is 'family' and families talk to each other.
I can't understand the rest--he bought her home? Is she renting it back from him? DO you feel he's taking advantage of her? I have news for you--70 is NOT old. I'm sitting here next to my 70 yo DH while he works and he is completely with the program, so to speak.
This is your uncle, so you certainly can talk to him and find out what he plans to do with/for your mom.
This may be a very kind and loving thing on his part. It could also be someone trying to take advantage. You need to talk to both mom & uncle and get more information.
Yes, I have seen people transfer their feelings to someone else and in much less than a year. I'm sorry this is causing your grief.
He seems to be criticizing her appearance, so don't know how much he really "cares" for her. Maybe she is just a booty call to him, and not much more.