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I recently made a caregiver agreement with mom’s lawyer to get paid for what I do for my mom. Papers must be filled out weekly. I have seen some, but most included only personal care. I spend hours doing banking, taxes, insurance, cleaning out her other house, and more laundry than I’ve ever seen. For $15 an hour. Less than I pay for caregivers. PLEASE don’t respond to say I should do this for free...I’m working my butt off. My mom is full care. Why wouldn’t I get paid? To save an inheritance for my siblings who do nothing? It’s a far cry from what I made as an RN more than $30 less and I got vacation, holidays and sick days at my last job.

Hello Karinslife,

After you assess going rates for services to get an idea, as suggested so well by Countrymouse, this is a valuable tool: https://ac-cdn.azureedge.net/resources/Content/www/eBook/AgingCare-CarePlanGuide.pdf. The Daily Care Plan Template that you asked about begins on p. 12. Lots of other helpful assessments and charts are included.

I have also used A Personal Care Agreement as a guide: https://www.agingcare.com/documents/personal_care_agreement_agingcare.pdf. Such a document will safeguard you from and clarify for your un-involved siblings.

Good Luck!

Loving,
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 14, 2019
Harvhelper,

How nice of you to send that link. Truly helpful. Thanks for your kindness.
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Step One: pretend you are a man. I am not being rude about men, I am just pointing out that they seem to suffer far less self-accusation and hesitation in claiming what they are actually owed by any reasonable, objective standard of measurement.

Step Two: plot those hours on a timetable, and then give the tasks category headings - bookkeeping, admin, facilities management, laundry, personal care, etc. - and then look at the market rate for the services applicable in each category. This is to compare what your mother would have to pay for external, commissioned services with what it will cost her if you do them.

Then design a pro forma time sheet, fill it in week by week, and away you go.

Who said you should do this for free? For your mother's lawyer to be organising it, your mother *herself* can't have thought you should; and if it's okay by her...
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David21 Mar 17, 2019
I'm a man and I don't charge my parents for any of these tasks. I think it's fine to do so just not what I do. Should probably depend on the individual situation more than sex of the caregiver. If I did charge my parents for personal care I would tend towards the wage of a care giver vs. what an agency would charge ($12 vs. $20+). I would consider outsourcing it to an actual agency if I felt the need to charge that rate.
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My husband is doing a remodel and he uses what we call a day sheet, it has fillable areas for date, hours worked and an area to describe what was done that day. He adds the number of hours for things he is trying to track, ie 3/14/2019 7am to 5pm, roofing, concrete, fence 5hrs, dirt work.

Or you can do timesheets that have fillable areas to show from 7am to 9am personal care
9am to 11am dr appt
12pm to 2pm moms laundry

I think trying to micromanage your hours spent on specific tasks might be to time consuming. Keeping track of general jobs, ie personal care, financial care, transportation, etc. Will be more manageable and less time consuming. You don't want to set a precedent with the attorney that shows, 15 minutes in am for brief change, 20 minutes to doctor's office, 30 minutes for appointment that will drive you batty, but they will expect it if you ever once provide it.

As I like to say, keep it simple I'm stupid. I do believe there is power in simplicity. You are providing clear concise information, if need be do a sheet that specifically describes personal care, transportation, financial etc. Provide that with your first week and put a note on whatever you provide that description of activities is available upon request. If you are emailing you could make it an attachment.

Best of luck and I say good for you getting paid, if you weren't doing it someone would be and getting paid for it. It also helps to know the absent sibs won't benefit financially from all your hard work.
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anonymous763470 Mar 14, 2019
Also, keep track of mileage for doctors visits, this is a tax deduction.
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If you hire a sitter from an agency--who does nothing but sit and watch--it's $20 an hour. Actually $15 an hour to do everything is dirt cheap pay.

It is not unreasonable to get a caregiver's contract.

Remember to see a tax lawyer. You can set up a "corporation" for more tax breaks.
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tacy022 Mar 17, 2019
The sitter from an agency would make from minimum wage to $12. The agency would mark up the base rate about 50% to cover costs and overhead.
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Oh my goodness, finally someone who is going through what I am going through with my selfish dad who wanted to live in my home with my spouse for free while he sent his little left over money to his sister in NY. We live in FL. I spent $8,000 in moving expenses to move his butt to FL, I managed his home from 2008 to the present time. So when I found out about the money he was sending to NY to his sister I put a stop to it and told him he had to give that to me as I could not work while I was taking care of him. So he did, but here is the rub...I have one full sister in FL and one half sister in NY and NO ONE does anything for him but me. He is so selfish he wants me to work for free and then leave his stupid little house to my full sister in FL, my half sister in NY and my half sister's mother. Yes when he lived in NY not one of them or any of our relatives, cousins, sisters, brothers ever went to visit him. I made six (6) trips to NY to move his butt to FL and now I wish to God I had left his ass right there. He is making my life a LIVING HELL! My marriage is being compromised. He finally agreed to put in his will that I should be compensated for all that I have done and then the balance gets distributed. Here is the rub, what if I die before him, then I would have killed for myself for a big fat NOTHING!!!!!

I feel your pain and I feel you should ask for more. I made the same agreement for $15 an hour I earn over $30 an hour when I do work so to me this is like me giving away money. I actually want all my money from him NOW! The love I felt for him when he lived in NY is not there anymore...especially seeing that this man did not take care of my sister and I like he did the half sister. I just cannot get past how he has LIED to me several times and he thinks I am so stupid.
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CTTN55 Mar 17, 2019
I see from another post that you moved your dad out of your house now. Good!

Do you know for sure that he actually put in his will that you are to be compensated for caregiving? Amd how about the thousands you spent moving him to FL?

Why do you have to wait? Why can't you be compensated now? One of my brothers wanted to wait until my mother's trust was settled before I got my compensation for taking care of our mother. No way! The trust says all is split equally four ways between my 3 brothers and me. Anyone who disagrees gets nothing!

So I'm getting paid by the month now, and just got a back pay check for the previous two years from the brother who is handling my mother's money. It is considered a "gift" so no taxes involved.

When the trust is settled, it will be distributed equally four ways.

My mother would have a fit if she knew I'm getting this money. "You don't pay family!" She told me. Well, you also don't expect one person to do it all, either. She told me I didn't do anything for her, my time wasnt worth anything, etc.

My brothers know what she was like, and none of them wanted to move her near them. So I get paid now.
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I say bill for everything you do. It makes sense. Your time is valuable and prescious. I spent hours doing finances, shopping, legal tasks for my Dad. He didn’t have the money to pay me but if he did I would have asked to be paid.
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Here is what I went through about 2.5 years ago. It may help you.

An Elder Lawyer will know exactly how to calculate what you can rightfully charge your loved one. We are in Florida and since Mom lived with me and my husband and I took full care of her at the time, we wrote a Service Care Agreement. The lawyer used the following figures (2.5 years ago) in order to derive the correct amount for me:

- Court-appointed guardians, who render services in this country, generally receive $40.00 to $80.00 per hour per Court Order. 
 
- Professional geriatric care managers typically receive $100.00 to $150.00 per hour for performance of their services. 

- Nurses’ aides receive $18.00 to $22.00 per hour for performance of their services. 

Thus, since the various services required by Mom are the services provided by guardians, professional care managers, nurses’ aides, drivers and companions, a blended rate of $35 was appropriate in my case.

I need to NOTE that this agreement was not used for a continual hourly payment, but for a basis for a Service Contract Agreement. Yet, I hope this overview helps you.
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CTTN55 Mar 17, 2019
I like that blended rate of $35/hour!

I suggested $20/hr that I would be paid. Two of my brothers independently came up with the same number. No taxes are taken out, though. It's all a "gift."
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I would make my own in Excel. Days, duties and special notes to explain inconsistencies. Make sure you have the pay period clearly defined and get a docusign.
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I agree that as long as there is money there, you should get paid. People will disagree. I direct all readers to the term "convenient social virtue" in a book by economist J K Galbraith. This has to do with how society tells us we HAVE TO do things for free. Please keep good records to protect yourself. Save every receipt and note on the back what items were purchased. There are others with recordkeeping suggestions. Are you looking for software. Maybe ask the lawyer. Lawyers keep hours worked on a case ie billable hours. What software do they use? I just keep a list: I use a timer and list March 13, laundry prep 37 minutes, mail/bills 7 minutes, etc. I understand about the laundry tsunami--it's unbelievable. I took photos of the pile of it for the week, photos of the finished product, photos of particularly fun stains ( actual poo to be scraped off). Photos cost nothing and are great proof. I took photos of everything to protect myself. You being a RN makes $15 sound way too cheap. A caregiver with a high school education cost $23/hour to the agency. Consult a accountant about how to handle this situation tax wise. Reimbursement for items purchased and mileage is not taxable but the pay is. Are you an independent contractor or an employee? It's very complicated--you need that accountant, but your mom should pay for the accountant to set it up and of course the lawyer.
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Good for you! I wish I had the nerve to charge my 92-year-old Dad. He lives in assisted living, but I spend hours every week taking him to the doctor, shopping for him, sitting with him every day, taking him out to dinner, and being at his beck and call. We recently went through a siege in which he had us move his furniture 23 times in 7 weeks trying to get him away from a noise nobody else can hear! He called last week demanding we come over to the AL because it was 8:10 and nobody had brought him his 8:00 pills. There is always something! But he would never pay me. I brought him to me from a state 700 miles away 7 years ago. My brother lived there, but is an alcoholic so I had to bring Dad to me when he was losing his ability to walk. You could count on one hand the number of times they have talked on the phone in seven years. I joke that I am an only child who will have to split her inheritance, if there is anything left. A couple years ago I was explaining checks I had written and I mentioned that one was for reimbursement for his expenses such as Depends, deodorant, cashews, etc. He was appalled that I would "charge him" for those things! The next day he told me he was giving his time share (which we had been using and paying all expenses for including yearly maintenance!)) to my niece (his favorite grandchild out of 6 of them) who lives where he used to. She has visited him once since he has been up here and may call once a year or so. He was giving it to her because I didn't deserve to use the timeshare because I was charging him for expenses! I have rarely in my life ever spoken up to my Dad, but I did about that! I take care of all his needs AND I pay for the time share. I am using it! I also have two toddler grandsons living with me so it is not like I have time to burn. I do know that Dad's ex-wife's son was paid to care for her.
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