I stood outside Moms bathroom until she was finished and then went it to make sure she cleaned up correctly. She would run the water washing her hands forever if I wasn't there.
I am really sorry about your situation. Its hard enough caring for someone but to have caring thrust upon you is awful. I said this before, your husband choice his responsibility. But that doesn't mean you still won't have questions. You are living in the house. This is how I look at it. Yes he should have discussed it with you and you have a right to be mad. You are married though. Do you love him? Then support him. Let him do most of the work but that doesn't mean u can't help without being involved with her care. I understand that your home is topsy turvey but it won't be forever. She will eventually need care that your husband will not be able to give. One bit of advice, keep opinions to urself. I didn't appreciate my DHs suggestions especially when he had no idea how Dementia progresses.
Somewhere, respectfully, why do you care? This is the MIL your DH moved into your house without your agreement, has commandeered your LR with a bed, shower and commode, and you have caregivers & DH to attend to her. I would acknowledge her presence (how can you not when she’s underfoot, and disrupted your house) but not care one iota about her care or mental state. I’m sorry but this and your other posts on this situation have my bp up this morning. That house would just be a roof over my head until I found a way out. I’m sorry you’re in this position.
Rocket, you’re right. It was very early this AM when I posted my answer and I didn’t realize this was the OP from the “husband met with sisters without me..., etc.” post. To be brutally honest, I don’t see OP doing anything to change her situation, do you? She’s not going to leave her home and move out. She will be on her hand and knees scrubbing the pot and probably also scrubbing MIL until MIL passes. We will get the intermittent posts asking for advice that will not be taken if even read. This is one of those posters who just make you (((sigh))).
If Mother has dementia, consider that people with this disease can be very childlike. Many of us have had friends whose children, as babies. “finger painted” with feces.
If you have real concerns that this may happen again, do not leave Mother unsupervised in the bathroom. You can give her privacy, but monitor her.
I am really sorry about your situation. Its hard enough caring for someone but to have caring thrust upon you is awful. I said this before, your husband choice his responsibility. But that doesn't mean you still won't have questions. You are living in the house. This is how I look at it. Yes he should have discussed it with you and you have a right to be mad. You are married though. Do you love him? Then support him. Let him do most of the work but that doesn't mean u can't help without being involved with her care. I understand that your home is topsy turvey but it won't be forever. She will eventually need care that your husband will not be able to give. One bit of advice, keep opinions to urself. I didn't appreciate my DHs suggestions especially when he had no idea how Dementia progresses.
If you have real concerns that this may happen again, do not leave Mother unsupervised in the bathroom. You can give her privacy, but monitor her.