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And my almost 94 year old mother keeps saying, "When I get out of here............." which makes NO sense whatsoever, because even if she DID 'get out' of her Memory Care ALF, where would 'home' be?

It doesn't get better, no. Nothing with dementia and Alzheimer's gets better. It just keeps getting worse and worse until they're just a shell of who they once were, and we're just a shell of who WE once were. We all lose. Isn't that a fact? :(
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Reply to lealonnie1
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My mom lives with us and will be 99 years old in October. She is always saying she wants to "get the h*** out of here"! I live in California and there is no place for her to go where dementia treatment is available because of this covid "thing". She has a cat, two visiting nurses, a bathing nurse, me, my husband, my niece, my daughter and my grandson helping to care for her. She was a nurse for 40 years and still thinks she knows it all. She gets mean sometimes and then turns around and is kind. She now can't walk, has incontinence, barely eats, and I had to take her back scratcher away because she was hitting my grandkids with it. I can not do this any longer. I myself have spinal stenosis so helping her physically is almost impossible. I am 72. The middle child and the only one not completely disabled of the six of us children. She uses oxy and a anti anxiety medication which have helped somewhat so I am grateful for that. I don't go anywhere, have done nothing fun for almost two years now. I'm just sad and angry I guess.
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Reply to prtyfedup
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fost40 Sep 18, 2020
I am so sorry that you are able to enjoy your aging in peace. Hang in there I know it isn't easy
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My sister does the same. Mostly incoherent except for the get me out of here, when can I leave, I want to go to be with you. No it wont get better. I say this is the rule right now due to "the flu" If the time comes when we can go out and be together I will do that-take her to visit parents or go out to eat etc. Don't know when that will happen. Even if we do get to go out she will soon forget and the replay to leave, go, etc. will be non stop.
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Reply to medicaidmaze20
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Yes, it is vey heard to hear. My mother is 83 can't walk, talk, has suspected Parkinsons and is on a feeding tube. When we are able to understand her murmurring it is usually "Get me out of here" and it breaks my heart every time. I live in a different state and she knows that. I offered to move her to another facility if care is the problem and she definitely does not want that... this made her stop for a little while since she loves the caregivers there and they love her.

Please stay encouraged. She for sure misses you and sometimes she may be complaining so that she can hear how much she is loved and missed. Most important thing is that your LO has around the clock care which I know I would not be able to do... especially by myself and be encouraged that she is where she needs to be with trained professionals that know what and how to take care of all of her needs.
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Reply to Victoryismine
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This is one of the most common observations on Forum. And no, it often doesn't get better. My brother, while in Assisted Living said that complaining was their job, and they worked hard at it. It is a matter of making it clear over and over that coming home isn't an option now. Then trying to make the call better. If it continues just keep the calls or visits short and return another time. This isn't unusual. When you really think on it why would they NOT want to return to life as it was. The problem is that life as it was has now gone away. As to the question of will it get better? It may and it may not. Like most things, it cannot be predicted.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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psuskind1 Sep 18, 2020
Dear alva
I guess I’m the one who has to adjust but it makes me sad to hear LO beg to come home and I can’t do it ever.
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