My brother with vascular dementia, Alzheimer's Disease, Major Depressive Disorder, and several other chronic conditions has been in assisted living for three years. I've been told he can no longer stay at that level of care because he has mild seizures making him a fall risk. He can no longer dress, toilet or bathe himself. He is being moved to the skilled nursing section. It's emotionally difficult for me because he has been in a private room with his own furnishings and pictures, etc. The skilled nursing area is basically a hospital ward with people sitting around a TV in wheelchairs, some crying, yelling, staring blankly. I feel like I'm putting my brother in a place to wait to die with no quality of life at all. It's so depressing, it will be hard for me to continue visiting him, and I'm feeling guilty about that. Has anyone else been through this transition?
I'd read all the stats about how folks die within 6 months of admission to nursing homes.
My mom lived a pleasant 4 1/2 years there. She had her family pictures, her religious articles and us as visitors. There was a visiting priest and some nuns who visited frequently. There was a deacon who brought her communion (and a therapy dog) each day.
Take heart!
I was pleasantly surprised to find that there were many lucid, engaging residents there, as well as some who had serious limitations and multiple involvements.
I FIND some productive, pleasant activity going on somewhere on the floor no matter when I go, and often have brief on-the-fly conversations with residents and staff.
My suggestion- don’t assume too much until you get a “read” on what happens on your brother’s floor. If it isn’t what you would prefer, you may be able to do some beefing up of his immediate surroundings.
If it IS a pleasant, peaceful, convivial set up, help him enjoy it with you.