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Only YOU know if you can care for mom at home anymore after this last incident. Do you feel like mom is safe alone at home while you work? If not, can she afford to hire caregivers while you aren't there? If the answer is yes, then that solves the issue and you can let the staff in the hospital/rehab know you have your bases covered for her return home. If you feel that you're unable to properly care for her at home any longer, there's no shame in admitting such a thing.

When my dad was 91, he fell at home in his independent living apartment and broke his hip (refusing to use a walker). After the hospital surgically repaired his hip, he was sent to rehab where he made no progress; Medicare stopped paying for his stay and they insisted he stay there permanently in their long term care (Skilled Nursing) section of the facility. I said no b/c mom was alive and they needed to stay together. So I found them both an Assisted Living facility to live in together, and with PT, dad started to make some progress. But he had a brain tumor (that was discovered during an MRI after the fall) and that wound up killing him 10 months later. His broken hip turned out to be a major setback indeed, but mostly b/c he had a brain tumor and never was able to walk again afterward.

What's important with your mom is that she can make the necessary progress in rehab TO come back home. If so, great. If not, then you can discuss alternatives, such as hiring in home help to be there with her when you aren't.

Wishing you and mom the best of luck and a full recovery for her.
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My father-in-law (94) is in this situation right now. He broke his leg last month after a fall. He is returning home from rehab today, not exactly against medical advice, but not with full blessing either.

I'm expecting it to be a disaster but I'll let you know.

Your mom may do much better considering it was just her arm, but will need significantly more help.
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drowningcat Oct 2022
Thank you and please keep me posted. Well wishes for your FIL.
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I'm sorry about your Mom's injury. Last summer (July 2021) my Mom (92) fell and broke her wrist of her dominant hand. She lives mostly independently next door to me. The doc reset her wrist and said if she were much younger he would recomomend surgery for it, but was concerned that at her age the surgery itself had enough risks that probably outweighed the benefit.

She recovered at home and after the removal of the cast, it took the pain several more months to subside. She was going to PT to try to regain strength and movement. She did her exercises faithfully as she was very motivated to return to "normal".

Honestly it is hard to know what is now normal aging or what is a result of the injury. She also has arthritis in her hands and other parts of her body. She needs help getting lids off jars, zipping up, tieing her shoes, things like that. She still drives, does yardwork and housecleaning, etc.

At our Moms' ages recovery takes so much longer and can be discouraging. Normal age-related decline is hidden in the mix, so I don't think anyone can give you an accurate answer to your question because it all depends on the individual.

I highly recommend she do PT faithfully and keep reminding her to be patient about how long it takes for her recovery. If she simply lost her balance and fell, I'd have PT work on that as well (my Mom was doing performing an unusual maneuver while wearing flipflops and moving backwards, then tripped over the shoes). Chances are your Mom won't get back to where she was before her fall but she may get close. I wish you both all the best!
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