Since my mom broke her hip and is in assisted living my dad wants to pare down the house since she is an organized hoarder and is very difficult to deal with when getting rid of anything. Their safe is on the floor and hard for them to access so I got them a portable one that can be put in a drawer or storage chest. My dad gave me a bagful of paperwork to be shredded which I took home since it was easier for me. Knowing mom’s history of hiding things I went through everything to make sure I wasn’t throwing away anything important. Bad idea. I came across various paperwork that proved my sister’s and my suspicions. Over time they have given my brother close to 200,000 with instructions not to “ tell the girls.” We never imagined it totaled that large amount of money. We are crushed. In addition, my sister and I have been helping them so they can stay in their home. My brother does NOTHING.....other than to load up his trucks with things that he wants. My parents estate is not huge, but comfortable. However, it will only last a couple years should long term care become necessary. They are 89 and 90. Ironically I have POA.
Question is should we approach them or let it be? Damage has been done but it truly hurts to know one child is so favored. He had a good job and his wife worked, just had a bad habit of living above his means. Yet me and my sister will be the caregivers moving forward. I’m not sure if I will be able to put this aside and pretend as if nothing happened. Has anyone else experienced favoritism and how did you deal with it?