Has anyone experienced their LO declining faster because of being isolated from them?

Hello Abby!

i feel the only thing we can do in these hard times is to have patience and hope for the best. I had to put my mom in a Elzeimer home on Feb 15th, I was visiting her every 2 days and speaking in the phone every other day. I went to see her last Monday and spoke to her from the window, she didn’t understand why I was not going inside to see her! ( may not have been a good idea unfortunately) since then, she has been very agitated, agressive and sad day and night.. to a point they had to communicate with our doctor for medication to calm her. Hopefully the medication will help! Not only I can’t see her or talk to her now (they told me to wait until she is stabilized) but now.. I am crazy worried about her. This whole situation breaks my heart... only thing I can do is be patient and hope things will get better.

best of luck!

What I did this past Sunday, I went to take some thing to my mom via one of the caregivers. I asked if she was in her room and she said that she thought that she was watching tv. So I went to her room and one of the nurses was there. They were able to bring her to see me at her window. I was able to talk to her a little bit since they had the window cracked open. She looked good and is being kept very clean. She asked me when I was going to come in to see her. Hard to explain. I did tell her that I loved her and she said she loved me. She is 89. So my situation is probably different from yours.

If you can go and visit via saying hello through the window, if possible, that might help some also. At least the weather is warmer.

Yes I do believe the isolation of lockdown is making my mom worse. She has a baby doll that she keeps with her for comfort but now, this past few weeks she is hallucinating. She thinks the doll watches TV with her, that it tries to talk - “its little chin quivers” and it “sticks its tongue out”.

My mom is not yet in late stage dementia - she understands what’s going on in her environment and she knows us and calls us on the phone but she’s also seriously having hallucinations.

This condition is so wildly, inexplicably variable, that I’m sure we’ll find that each of our LOs responds to both the isolation and reunification in his or her own unique way.

I also suspect that we who are “locked out” are suffering more than the LOs that we’re missing so.

Early in the lockdown I received a call that she’d been found on the floor by her bathroom, which happens once in a while, and with my permission, the procedure is to go over her carefully and observe her for 1/2 hour or so, and if everything seems OK, to let her remain in her own environment. Then I breathe and say a prayer of gratitude that she’s being kept as safe as possible in an environment that she is familiar with.

I can’t make any assumptions about what I’ll find the next time I’m able to actually see her. She has surprised me before, several times, in both her down times AND some very sweet up times too, so I look forward to seeing her, taking some familiar old photos, and drawing her back into our life together as far as I can.

There is no one way for the disease to progress. Once you are physically with your mom again, she may recognize you. Don't give up hope. Even if you visited every day- or even lived with her- there might come a time when she did not recognize you.

My son is (now was?) very good about visiting his grandmother with Alzheimer's. At one point, he said 'She doesn't know who I am now.' I told him to think of her like an infant. An infant 'knows' which people are the regular caregivers. An infant can't indicate they recognize you but they will quiet down when held by strangers as they check out the situation. They will become active when the parent comes in to feed them because they 'recognize' them.

Your mom will feel your love when you are with her again. I am sure of that.

Although I cared for mom at home and visited her in the NH every day I'm not sure she really knew who the heck I was, even though when agitated she would call my name....at some point I decided it didn't do me any good to probe too deeply into her mind.

Abby, she is blessed that she doesn't have to worry and fear about what is going on. Thankfully she has her baby to give her companionship right now.

With two of my grandmas it truly became about the joy or happiness in the moment. One would tell me that her daughter never visited while she was sitting next to her, but she would have a good time visiting us, whomever we were. The other became completely nonverbal but loved her baby.

Hugs! Just love her and know that she is doing okay, you will be okay too.

One thing that I recommend is playing catch with a plush stuffed animal (lots of parts to grab), it helps bring them into the moment and usually gives everyone a good giggle.

I’m sorry your experiencing this. A friend is telling me the same with her mother, in memory care with no in person contact, she feels that when this ends her mother won’t recognize her any longer. Time is a precious commodity in this, in unexpected ways...