As mom worsens with her dementia symptoms there is more anxiety within the home. Our dog recently started going potty in the house, shes NEVER done this. Shes also been panting on her bed, upset about something? Wondering if shes sensing something with grandma? If theres a connection?
By the one-year point, they were at Mom's feet often. Mom suddenly deteriorated. Hospice brought a hospital bed that was placed in the living room. The pups were constantly on the bed with Mom, which gave her a lot of comfort. Her favorite was when my toy Aussie would press her ear against Mom's chest, which feels like a little hug. The two-and-a-half days when Mom never woke up, they were constantly on the bed with her.
We can dream - meanwhile, though. Your dog is showing signs of stress, and I would guess (I think you do too) that she is reacting not to your mother's dementia symptoms but to the anxiety and tensions in the household more generally. How is everybody coping, would you say?
My experience of dogs' handling of dementia is limited to my (late) dog, and to the dogs of clients I visit. They tend to be watchful - they check out visitors to the home - and to keep out of the way (except for one idiotic young Labrador who stands there offering toys and wagging his tail off in spite of his owner's very heavy scooter near his paws); but once the person is settled on the sofa or in bed they either go to their own beds or come and keep guard.
Don't be cross with her, it'll make her worse and make you feel terrible. Take this as an alarm, warning you to rethink the whole family's situation. What changes are you having to make to how it all runs?
There might be other reasons the dog is "going" in the house.
Are you paying attention to the dog? Is someone letting or taking it out when it indicates or is everyone focused on mom?
A far as panting on the bed..the dog may very well be sensing changes. The "master" smells differently, breathes differently, there possibly are other smells that are "new" lotions, barrier creams, alcohol, even the food you give mom smells different.
And routines change and, just like children, dogs NEED routines to be as consistent as possible.
Spend a little more time with the dog, they feel loss just as we do and she/he may need a bit more of your time.
By the way any feelings you have anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, sadness...talk them out with the dog on a walk. The dog will tell no one your secrets and you will get a lot off your chest. And you will both have a nice walk. You both need it!
Some dogs can even detect cancer in a person. They have amazing abilities and insight. I would speak to the vet but I would also have your grandmother checked out at the doctor’s office.
Don’t be embarrassed to speak about it. They have probably heard of this before.
Best wishes to you and your family.
What does the vet say?