Has anyone experienced no nursing homes wanting a parent?

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It looks like I kept my mom too long. But the on set was so quick. I think she has frontal lobe dementia because of falling. She has been a somewhat functional drunk for 14 years. She was with me until early May 2017. I have a no drinking rule at my house. She only came because they had her on non reporting probation. She came home, started drinking again ended up in jail again in August 2017. Then back to me on September 11, 2017 when she got out of jail. The nursing homes don't want her because she needs memory care and her arrest records. They could never get my mom to do anything but the MMSE test. Her score was 11 out of 30. Just got a call a short time ago telling me mom tried to break all the windows out of the hospital and punched a nurse in the nose. They had to sedate her. No one wanted her before, now it will be even harder after today. Tomorrow she will have been in the hospital for a week. We went into an emergency room because she was convinced someone was here to kill us. Her severe part started in early March.

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My Mom was diagnosed with Major Depression with Delusions and Mild Dementia. The depression and delusions caused lots of problems the past year; however, Mom has calmed down because the Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner found the right combination of antidepressants and antianxiety medications. Mom doesn't have the crying outbursts like she used and she is cooperative with the staff when they assist her with bathing, toileting, transfers, dressing, etc. She has a mechanically altered diet with ground meat and uses a Sippy cup with double handles. Mom sits in her wheelchair using her legs to "walk" up and down the hall of the Memory Care Unit talking with the staff and other residents. She is where she needs to be.

Please keep us updated about your Mom.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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Belle, we're here for you. Do come back and give us an update, on how you're doing as well.
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Reply to talkey
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DeeAnna:
Thanks for responding. How is your mother now? I think with being legally blind 14 years, drinking and age she is 76 will be 77 in July. Only I believe it might be frontal lobe because the internet has been my only friend and that seems like an aggressive Dementia. They say Dementia with behavioral problems. She did do a lot of falling in those 14 years. At home and going home from the bar. People have literally picked her up from the road or side walk thank goodness she lived in a small town.
I will come back and and let people know my experiences so maybe they will know what to expect next. I'm AFRAID and lonely!
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Reply to Belle41
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I agree that your Mom needs to be checked for a UTI if she hasn't been already. However, a UTI is just one of a million reasons for the sudden change in your Mom, especially with her history of drinking. Why do you think that she has frontal lobe dementia because of falling? Did the doctor mention this?

My Mom changed suddenly in April 2017. On Saturday, April 22th, we attended her grandson's wedding in another state--a 5+ hour drive. On Sunday, April 23rd, 30 minutes after we got home, Mom was admitted to the hospital via ER, and on Monday, April 24th, my Mom had changed from the social, talkative, independent person who was my roommate for 9 years into someone who needed assistance with transfers, getting dressed, eating, and using the bathroom. She now resides in a LTC Memory Care Unit.
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Belle, people on this site keep saying that a UTI can cause horrible behavior in elderly people; she MUST have been checked for one, hasn't she?
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Margaret916:
Thanks I will try that website. They have assigned me a case worker. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. My mom will self pay for a few months. The case worker ask me today did I want to take her back home. I said NO. Not unless you can let her go to where she lived and get people to help. They said they couldn't do that because doctor says she needs memory care. After having a mom who had a great Christmas with a sound mind to not being able to put a sentence together in March 2018. Of course she had the normal things not remembering a word here and there. To quickly not even know who I am or wanting dead family members phone numbers.
Thank you so much and may God Bless everyone that ever has been through this disease or experiencing it now. The worse part is my husband is 700 miles away where our true home is for now. We have two. My husband and I decided after mom's last jail time we would sale the other house and get back here with mom full time. He has a job lined up and everything. Just can't get there to help him. He has to work because we have two house payments.
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Reply to Belle41
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Hi Belle
How stressful for you. I really empathize with all you must have gone through for many years. Alcoholism is a disease that robs us of our loved ones in a particularly cruel way. Have you used the Eldercare.gov website to locate a nursing home?
Here is a link to the Medicare website that has a useful tool to compare nursing homes for quality issues:
www.medicare.gov/nursinghomecompare/search.html
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Please take care
I wish you the best,
Margaret
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Reply to Margaret916
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I don't think that you kept her too long. I think that your Mom's disease has progressed so rapidly that it is beyond what a regular/normal LTC Memory Unit can offer. Maybe a psychiatric nursing home or long term hospital.
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