We just had a family care meeting at the AL for my LO where they explained why my LO needs to move to a higher care level because of cognitive decline. The phone conference started was with myself, the ED, and Patient care coordinator. The ED was friendly and smooth and sympathetic and expressed concern and talked about how tough things had been because of Covid. She acted like you would expect someone in her position to act.
Then the patient care coordinator comes on is frankly somewhat rude and unsympathetic. She said my LO behaviors have become worse and has been verbally lashing out at staff and is requiring more care to redirect and assist. I tried to explain that his hearing is very bad and he often does not hear what the staff is telling him and this causes confusion on his part. I also explained that he was used to having frequent visits from family and that the isolation from Covid lockdowns have been very hard on his mental health. I asked that they wait until the lockdowns are over to reevaluate him. She didn't seem to care. She just listed all the times he used profanities with the staff. I complained that they never called and told us behaviors were getting worse. She claimed they did and we didn't answer. This is not true, because we have been home almost continuously since March. It was just a ridiculous back and forth argument that went nowhere with this woman raising her voice. I just could not believe that this is a service we are paying almost $100K a year for and we were being treated in this manner. It seemed so unprofessional. She just had a very uncouth manner to her, lacking in refinement. I wonder if people who work in that position have to develop tough, no nonsense personalities because they probably hear complaints all day from families. Is this unusual?
I'm thinking maybe they are in the wrong line of work if they are going to get angry at someone who can not help themself.
These are hard times, no doubt.
Covid has made all this worse. When you cannot visit together and person to person it is awful. And many seniors are deteriorating, with a staff that is under great stress, due to covid.
The facts, however, are the facts. ALF are businesses. As with any other business they would love to cherry-pick their customers. That is the sad truth. Your Dad is not so easy a resident as many others, he requires much more, and if you do find another place you think is better, this ALF can likely fill Dad's room with a more easy resident quite quickly. That is the HARD and SAD truth. Any adversarial relationships that form with family makes this more a certainty. As my bro would assure me as an ALF resident "It's very corporate".
I am so sorry for all of this. It becomes impossibly complicated. But the facts are the facts and argument is very unlikely to change the costs. It is no time to be seeking other care, but something to think about for the future. So sorry you are all going through this.