Has anyone ever lost interest in things you use to enjoy or were excited about because of caregiving?

Yes, very much so. I do see a therapist and she encourages me to find time to take breaks and do things for myself, which I do. And I enjoy those things while I am doing them (Going to a concert or comedy show with my family, having lunch with a friend, etc). But the rest of the time? I just can't make myself do anything in my day-to-day life. No gardening, no embroidering, no crafts, no decorating. It's hard just to make myself get up and clean or get up and shower. I have heart failure so I am limited in the anti-depressants I can take. I was able to increase my dosage last year but it's just not enough. I don't even do day to day care of my mom. She is in a memory care facility. It's just everything that has happened in the last 18 months.

I'm sorry if this is a downer. I just want you to know you are not alone and I hope you are able to get to a place of being excited about your life again.

faithfulbeauty, I feel like you are expressing all of my thoughts! I, too, feel like I have lost joy, and wish I could afford regular therapy, not to mention the time to spend on myself.
We do have one big difference, though. I am caring for my husband, whom I love more than anything. I am frustrated at what he has become, and that my days are filled with changing soiled diapers and washing soiled linens. But I remind myself that I would rather live like this than to live without him around. He was the ONLY person who was ever really good to me in my life.
I have already told my dad that I am not taking care of him if he needs help. He will be placed in an appropriate facility to care for his needs. Fortunately, he has a wife who is close to my age, so I am hoping it will be her problem to work out.
You, my dear, are carrying extra stress and resentment, knocking yourself out for someone you don't feel deserves it. You are not taking care of yourself. You can place your father in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Facility without feeling guilty. He will be well taken care of there by professionals who will treat him like any other patient, without the resentment and the history.
And if you ever just want to talk, to vent, feel free to message me directly. I am happy to listen to your stories of aggravation and commiserate! I'm no professional counselor, but it may help to express your feelings and have another perspective, or just to know that others are dealing with the same frustrations.

Oh Goodness! Yes and yes and yes. At first thought I could handle it fine, but as I've become older and my mother too (93) and it's been going on 7 years, it has become an enormous challenge because I have no one helping to relieve all the duties of house maintenance, bills, strategy of finances, cooking meals or deciding to pick up food to go and then on top of that I work in the evenings. And it's not even because she can't get around or go to the bathroom on her own. It's her dementia. Her cognitive skills are declining, so she can't remember how to sometimes do simple things, we take for granted. Many times I get burned out. The once a month caregiver group meetings I try to attend are informative and wonderful WHEN I can get to them clear across town. I suffer from anxieties and depression off and on, but fortunately, not lasting for a straight. I find that if I can manage some sort of escape, whether it's walking, or an exercise class, or a talk with a friend (not necessarily about caregiving, but other good distractions) it helps lift me and I am more hopeful. I also cannot afford a counselor at this time, so actually this site is helpful when I have time to get on it. I am an artist, so have not painted in years nor played my guitar and sang. I used to perform at open mikes. But I sing in the house and I try to go hear friends perform who play in small venues. I find that any little thing I can do that pleases me helps. You have to just find little joys. Caregiving is hard because also I am not relating to someone I love in the same way anymore and even though I know enough about dementia to realize it's not really my mother, but her brain changing and acting up, it is still a challenge to learn different, more calming ways to communicate with her. And that is the main key ( relearning how to communicate) to calm anxieties in her and me. There is so much I cannot afford, but I just try to take it day by day. There will be damage, but you can/will learn to navigate your new life in a different way. And everything depends, all your decisions, on how much you can take and how long you want to be in it and the progression of the patient. You can look into your area and see if it has group therapy/meetings for caretakers. I think if you are in counseling and just going when you can is terrific. Keep it up. And good luck! It definitely is not for everyone and it usually falls on someone's lap and I think it's been the hardest job I've ever done and there is like over 30 million people doing this.

Yes. I've been sole CG for 2.5 years now and previously had been able to enjoy doing my favorite crafts (crocheting for one). My dad's recent decline has sucked all of my energy and enthusiasm from me. I forced myself to go to the gym the yesterday and I caught myself beginning to cry while I was on the treadmill.

Usually losing interest in things you enjoy is a symptom of depression or burnout or even a physical issue. I am glad you are setting boundaries. Please prioritize your health. Get a good medical examination. Ask for a mental health referral to a psychiatrist if no physical problems are identified. There are wonderful treatments out there for depression - which is often called "the common cold of mental health" since so many people do experience depression.

Care giving is a selfless act of kindness that can absolutely make you focus on others to a point where you can easily lose yourself.Try to step back a little if you can give yourself a break. Get some help and try to do the caregiving partime.You will find yourself again.

I could not do this (full-time caregiving) with out my low does SSRI. Talk to a doctor. Take care of yourself! Easier said than done, I know!

Yep

I discovered it's one of the signs of burnout.

Caregiving for me highjacked my talents in sewing. I knew I still had it, but I had limited time because of always having to look out for other people. To tell you the truth, I'm tired of it even though I do it sometimes professionally. I found out that dealing with sick people follows the same dysfunctional dynamics like when I was dealing with my immediate family including being criticized for not doing more, not being able to enjoy my downtime and constantly being on edge all the time. I would probably do better in a facility because at least there is help there, and I wouldn't be doing the one on one that can be nerve racking not being to escape for five minutes to get some air. Taking the trash out was the only respite I had with my last case. These people would get more and more demanding and needy, talk all of the time, and I would be blue in the face because of it. However, society sets all of these rules for caregivers and other people professions that we must be patient, kind, loving and empathetic. Okay, we are all of these things, but we are burning out! Some of us are angry as hell and depressed because even if we don't know it yet, our bodies tell us enough is enough. Change something! For me, I think I need to learn to be patient, kind, loving and empathetic to myself.

I am soo happy I found this site! YES! Like you I am working to set boundaries and take care of myself but as you say the damage has been done. I have not tried counseling yet. Today, when people ask me what my hobbies are I just stare at them blankly while I try to think of something to say. We are all burned out and I'm just happy I found this site with other people who are going through the same experience and understand.

Yes, definitely 💯

Yes. I'm scared to be happy or look forward to anything anymore

When my LO was almost ready to be discharged from rehab after a stroke, I was subject to meetings with the OT, PT, speech therapist, and so on. The social worker interviewed me extensively as to what kind of life I'd lived prior to LO's stroke. I told her - work, recreation, family activities, leisure.

She looked me in the eye and said, "You can forget all of that. You're a caregiver now."

Truth.

This may not be relevant for other people, but I find I’ve ‘lost’ a lot of things because of Covid. We caught it at a theatre performance. We’ve stopped so many things since – theatre, cinema, restaurants, anything with crowds. Some of them stopped happening (for a while, or still haven't started again), some we just don’t do any more. And of course we’re getting older, mid 70s, and have been unwell. We’ve lost habits. Perhaps more than one thing makes us ‘lose’ the things we used to enjoy.

Yep. And I also feel guilty for feeling this way. I am by nature a very enthusiastic and energetic human, full of joy & curiosity. After 11 months of caring for both my parents who have dementia and mobility issues, I feel drained & merely existing, not really living. It’s probably a bit of depression setting in, at the reality of my situation (being that I am losing both my loving parents simultaneously and alone). I find myself not reaching out to friends or making any efforts to go out. I don’t pursue my passions anymore b/c there is no time. Too many duties that require immediate attention. I think I’ve just become sad and as a result, things seem less fun perhaps. My time with them is limited but I know I meed to find better balance to enjoy them and me.

Yes, right now I'm lying on the bed, looking out the window at the river, and surfing the internet.