My elderly MIL refuses to get a life of her own. She is so obsessed with our family that it makes us not want to be bothered with her. We help out alot with her care and some things she need but it feels like she is never satisfied. I have pulled back drastically from helping her. She lives alone and wants to be independent but she depends on us. Any suggestions??
Has she always been a controlling person? If so, it's sort of impossible for them to let go. I suppose therapy or medication would help, but, they have to agree to attend and actually WANT to change and that's not likely.
The controlling people in my family love being that way and they don't want to change. lol So, it's a matter of keeping them at bay and continually telling them nicely to back off or just ignore them. Those in my family who are obsessed like that have plenty of outside relationships and interest and are not normally homebound. They talk on the phone and visit with other friends daily (until covid-19), and attend church, shop, but, they still are obsessed with the lives of the adult children and grandchildren. AND, they have other obsessions as well. Like, politics, weather, illnesses, etc. If yours is anything like mine, I do feel for you. It's one of those things that I can't find a solution to. Maybe, someone else will have some helpful tips.
What was communicated to you as a DIL?