Has anyone else dealt with an elderly parent wanting to be weighed all the time?

My mother is 91 and moved in with me last October. She was over medicating herself. Constantly going to different doctors for meds. Swearing she weighed too much and not eating. Telling me and the doctors that she needs surgery and actually getting mad when they would tell her that nothing is wrong. I am not sure if it's somehow boredom or being scared but it did more damage to herself. She's now off most meds but MAD.

faithfulbeauty: Perhaps you should inform his physician of his weight obsession. Whether warranted or not, let the physician make the determination.

The majority of people do not visit a doctor every time they don’t feel well or are down in weight a pound or two.

The biggest concern with weight is usually those with heart issues where an overnight weight gain of so many pounds might indicate water retention. Eating salty foods can affect weight. A lot of variables. If he’s unwilling or unable to accept logic, there’s not much you can do.

I also get what you may be feeling as it relates to what occurred in your past. As long as you feel he’s pretty much okay for his current health condition, maybe just tell him if he still feels bad in a couple of days, you’ll see if you feel he needs to see a doctor. Most issues resolve themselves in a few days or so. (If he still drives, can’t he take himself there? Or, is the doctor out of driving range for him?)

If he’s mobile, can drive and has a nearby neighbor he communicates with, try blocking his number when you need to and unblock when your available for his calls, contact him when you’re feeling up to it, etc. if something of an urgent nature was to occur, I am sure the neighbor or someone would be in touch with you.

Hang in there!

If he wants to go to the doctor tell him to take an Uber.

Yes, fear, anxiety are among the many emotional responses aging seniors may experience. Perhaps if you take him to his PCP, go into the exam room with him and tell the PCP about this in front of your father. Have PCP address it. It could be that father needs some type of medication or other emotional support therapy to assist him with this perseverating behavior.

Practice good self care !

Good Morning,

My mother's cardiologist has me weigh my mother each morning after she goes to the bathroom and before she eats breakfast.

They have talking scales that are covered by some insurances.

Supposedly, the rule is if their weight fluctuates 3 lbs. either way, call the doctor.

There could be fluid building up or if the loved one has Dementia they are not eating. I just incorporate it into my day and I have (2) calendars--morning and evening. I log in the pills AM & PM and record weight and blood pressure. I do take the temperature but only record if there is problem.

Maybe for his benefit I would have him step on the scale each morning. Of course, ask his doctor how many pounds of weight loss should be of concern. Then, if it's no problem with your dad, he can see for himself.

It's quite common to do this.

Throw the scale away

My mom was very thin. She barely ate anything. She was obsessed with her weight and weighed herself daily. I ignored her comments about her weight.

My mom was extremely vein and didn’t want to gain a pound! Her doctor kept telling her to gain weight but she didn’t want to gain weight.

I don’t know what you can do about their obsession with weighing themselves daily. It can be annoying.

I stopped telling my mom not to weigh herself daily because it didn’t do any good.

I hope that you are able to find a viable solution.

Best wishes to you and your family.

My grandfather had dementia and also got obsessive about weight. He’d never been overweight (or under) in his life. In the hospital he’d ask for a scale in his room.

No clue what set it off, but it ended up just being a phase. As his dementia progressed he forgot about weight entirely.

First, congrats on getting a new job.

I relate to what you are dealing with regarding your dad’s need to weigh and you sound exactly right in your assessment.
What you describe sounds to me like anxiety. Your dad is worried about his health and it IS fairly common for elders to become more anxious when their “person” is otherwise occupied. For some, it’s a vacation they don’t want their LO to take, some are jealous of spouses or children, especially grandchildren it seems. They decide that the caregiver only has enough time, energy, maybe even love for just one and if it has to be just one, well it is going to be themself. Seems selfish but most likely at the root is fear but worse than fear (to me) is anxiety. With fear we are focused …. with anxiety we can’t seem to focus. Perhaps you are also feeling a bit anxious about starting the new job, about dad thinking he needs more attention, etc? It is a very common problem. (I knew a woman who would check into the hospital every time her daughter left town).

You have been preparing your dad for you to not be as available. You are wanting him to not be pressuring you there on your new job to be taking him to the doctor for what seems to you a trivial reason.

Perhaps what he is hearing is that he will be alone with no way to get help. He is focused on his weight as tangible proof his health is failing. He needs reassurance and perhaps more socialization.

Give him something to do with that anxiety to see if it will help. Tell him to weigh himself first thing every morning after peeing and in the same clothing or naked.
Keep a log, could be a simple calendar or a notebook. He should record the weight each day until the next scheduled doctor appointment. Then the doctor can look at his log and see how dad is doing with the weight. You can also look each time you go over and tell dad he is doing a great job collecting this data for the doctor to see.

If your dad no longer drives, see if he qualifies for home health through Medicare. You can call a home health company and ask them to evaluate him for home bound status and contact his doctor for an order to provide the services they find he needs. This weekly visit could go a long way in keeping him assured that he is being looked after.

Good luck on the new job and let us know how it is going.

If he doesn’t qualify now, you will know the steps for later. Also, you can take his temp, BP and O2/pulse once a week and he can see all his vitals are in good order.

You might also consider Meals on Wheels if available in his area. This gives another pair of eyes on him during the day and unless you get a call from them, you will know they saw him and handed off the meal.

Also be proactive within reason on when you will call him for a check in. You will be setting a precedent with whatever you choose. He will worry needlessly and you will become annoyed/stressed if the calls are coming too often.

The OCD thing needs to be brought up to his doctor. It may be a sign of Dementia.

If Dad is competent you do not need to be at his beck and call. If an emergency, he can call 911 and be taken to the ER. You can go after work. He can take advantage of Senior bussing to get him to appts. His request to go see a doctor because he has lost a lb or two is not ur responsibility. So you just say No. What he does not understand is your weight is the lowest in the morning and higher at night. You should only weigh yourself in the morning. You are not going to be 190 all day long. You eat, you drink during the day. He is probably losing muscle mass so the loss of weight.

According to your profile your dad really has no health issues at all and that you're really not wanting to be his(at some point)caregiver due to his mistreatment of your mom right?
So don't be. He doesn't need someone looking after him now, so keep your distance and quit answering your phone when he calls.
And if and when the time comes that he may actually need some assistance, he can move into an assisted living facility. There he will be around other folks his age and get the help he needs. It will be a win win for all involved especially you.
Your dad is not your responsibility in case you didn't know that, so get on with living and enjoying life and your new job.

It sounds like your dad is scared and needs reassurance, compassion and support. Your new job changes what he is used to and change is scary to everyone. Does he have any friends or enjoy any activities? Maybe he could join a group or groups with other people his age to help take his mind off his weight and his worries. Friends could also help fill the void he might be feeling as you start your new job. Maybe you could sign him up for art classes? or a class he enjoys where he can meet people. Bingo? There are a lot of options. I hope this helps. <3

"No, Dad. The doctor told us not to worry about fluctuations in your weight."

Or "no, dad, I have to go to work. We can talk about this later."

Or just "no, dad."

There is NO reason to get engaged in this attention seeking behavior.

Take the batteries out of the scale, or have the scale "break" or disappear. Then if he asks you to buy a new one, tell him you did and you're waiting for it to be delivered. Don't pander to his irrational behaviors. Now you need to be a creative problem solver, and don't hesitate to use "therapeutic fibs" as part of the solutions. If he acts sick and you strongly suspect he isn't, just change the subject, and kiss him goodbye as you go off to work.

Dementia robs people of their reason and logic and judgment. It also decreases their ability to empathize with others (hence many elderly with dementia being labeled as "narcissists"). You will need to keep practicing what should be ignored and how best to ignore it. "Explaining" things to him will work less and less and will exhaust you and waste time, only for you to have to re-explain it again and again. Been there, doing that with my 94-yr old Mom...